‘And That’s Why We Drink’ Opens Up Full-Bodied Murder Mysteries and Wine Boxes

The world is pretty scary, and that’s why we drink.
February 28, 2019
7 mins read

Cue the boxed wine and fearful laughter. The podcast “And That’s Why We Drink” has been deemed the best podcast to have listeners dying of laughter while simultaneously hiding beneath their bed sheets. With 108 episodes to date, this comedy-meets-murder-mystery smashup is the perfect listen for humor and horror lovers alike.

Created by Christine Schiefer and Em Schulz, “And That’s Why We Drink” features true accounts of crime and paranormal activity, which are discussed over a hearty serving of boxed wine and milkshakes. According to their website and description of the podcast, “The world’s a scary place. And that’s why we drink!”

Both Schiefer and Schulz admit that their love for all things paranormal and spooky began at a young age, and their passion for the topics is clearly evident. The way in which the two podcasters tell their stories leaves listeners longing for more. Better yet, during an episode of “And That’s Why We Drink,” listeners can find themselves on the verge of tears, either from laughter or out of fear. I guess that depends on how much of a baby you are, to be honest.

These two are absolutely hysterical, to say the least. No matter how many episodes they record, their reactions are always genuine and hilarious, giving listeners goosebumps and a good laugh. As time goes on, the podcast gets funnier, as Christine and Em get more and more trashed.

While every episode is equally spooky in its own right, there are a few specific episodes of “And That’s Why We Drink” that are the best, one of which is Episode 9.

Episode 9: The Wandering Cowboy and the Pregnancy Pact, but for Boys  

Demons and alcohol don’t mix well, but apparently in this episode they do. Em tells the story of the Sallie house, a building in Kansas that is well-known for its apparitions and flying objects. Locals refer to the house as “Sallie house” because a young girl named Sallie was brutally murdered there and now haunts the location. According to Em’s story, Sallie had an emergency appendicitis surgery, but was unable to get any form of anesthesia. The lack of anesthesia resulted in a torturous procedure, death and a haunting ghost.

Ever since Sallie’s death, the ghost of the young girl is said to have haunted the house and its inhabitants. Evidently, several families have moved in and out of the house quite quickly. For instance, when Tony and Debra Pickman moved into the house in 1992, they quickly fell victim to the paranormal activity.

At first, they dismissed the activity as “pranks,” but it quickly escalated to jokes with harmful intentions. Random fires would break out in the house and then be extinguished on their own. Scratches were found on Tony Pickman’s body, which would become more serious over time and develop into long claw marks. Tony also found himself waking up in the middle of the night and speaking in a language he didn’t know. The couple eventually moved out of the Sallie house, but it is still the home of experimental paranormal investigations.

After the paranormal segment, Christine and Em transition to the crime section, where Christine talks about a man known as “Em’s hero,” Michael Malloy. Also known as Iron Mike, this man can also be called “the man who just wouldn’t die.”

Mike Malloy almost got killed nearly a dozen times (not an exaggeration) by a group of men who wanted to collect his money after he died. He was a local drunk, so the easiest solution was obviously to open a tab at the bar and allow him to self-induce alcohol poisoning. The group of attempted murderers were shocked when Malloy passed out and woke up hours later, ready to drink more.

The next phase of attack? The group decided to feed Malloy antifreeze and rat poison instead of alcohol. Yet despite all of their efforts to poison him, he was perfectly fine and once again, ready to drink more. He was even noted to call antifreeze “the good stuff.” How are you supposed to kill someone that won’t die? Eventually Malloy was suffocated and suffered blunt force trauma, but unfortunately (or fortunately) the group were unable to claim Malloy’s money, making him one of history’s greatest alcoholics and a so-called master of death.

But out of all of “And That’s Why We Drink” episodes, Episode 9 is definitely not the goriest. I’m personally a fan of the blood and gore that comes with murder stories, but this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea (or box of wine). But listeners that are into the horror podcasts obviously know what they’re in for, so this is a good way to edge into the matter if guts and gore don’t necessarily mean glory in your eyes. If you want a really crazy and gory story, check out “Episode 17: Flo & Frankenstein and Christine Has Another Stroke.”

Something that Episode 9 does do is perfectly display Em and Christine’s dynamic relationship. Em is very sarcastic and blunt in the best way possible; if I could give them an award for “funniest people I’ve ever heard in my life without even trying,” they would have it on a shiny gold plaque.

Christine is straight to the point and her drunken stammering easily can get a listener through a night of Sunday scaries. The two of them together create a hilarious show that absolutely deserves all 108 of its episodes. It can only can get scarier and more inebriated from here.

“And That’s Why We Drink” can be found on most podcast streaming services including Spotify and Apple Music.

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