Wine Instead of Whine as You Complete Your Homework This Semester

College coursework can be arduous, but indulging in the perfect glass of wine for each assignment can make it fun.
February 16, 2018
8 mins read

Doing homework with wine alongside you is not taboo, but it may not be something your mother would suggest. The truth is, homework can be dull, monotonous and tedious, but homework with wine can break this wretched curse.

Drink with confidence: this pair will have you “pffing” famous duos like peanut butter and chocolate or spaghetti and meatballs. It is not about getting drunk — well, not totally anyway. Look beyond, dear reader, and find the transitory bliss of flavorful relaxation. Despite the contradictory couple, homework and your favorite special drink are a pair meant for each other (and you).

Overcome that homework hump with a glass of the good stuff. These five wines were paired just for you, so come along and see how homework can be a little less difficult and a little freer. 

Dry Riesling and Trigonometry

This dynamic duo refines arithmetical warfare. Dry Riesling, a highly aromatic and equally acidic wine, is just the catch for those hypotenuse-heavy equations. This wine is suited for the tough, the fishy and the relatively smelly. It’s just right for the job.

Indeed, it’s time to pair homework with wine. Enjoy a glass of this semi-sweet treat to break free from the pungent odor of those nasty equations. Riesling produces residual sugar, leaving a light and sweet flavor and keeping your senses peppy and ready to move on to the next problem.

For those of you who truly enjoy the mental mayhem, try a sweeter Riesling. This will ensure not only an easy transition into this subject but also introduce a bit more fun than you are used to.

Cabernet Sauvignon and History

Studying the rich history of our nation couldn’t be done more beautifully than pairing it with this full-bodied remedy. Even the most respected character in our nation’s history would agree: wine is a companion for the scholar, not the brawler.

Replace the whining with wining with your friends, polyphenols, the little macromolecules in dry wines like Cabernet Sauvignon. These little fellas can be found in seeds, bark and wood, bringing us back to the roots of our ancestors.

Not as acidic as its counterparts, this wine, a comfortable companion while glancing over historical dates and perusing key figures of the American frontier, is the more delicate of its species. Served at a warmer temperature, Cabernet Sauvignon is a pleasant and long-enduring spirit, which will be sure to pass its comforting black cherry-like aroma and flavor onto you as you survey the glorious haze of American beauty, or perhaps pay someone to write essay for you.

Zinfandel and Chemistry

There’s no better bond (did you see what I did there?) than a nice glass of Zinfandel to accompany those complex diagrams. This type of wine extracts the most exotic of flavors, using over-ripe nectarines, plums, boysenberry and sometimes sweet tobacco to bring an intricately medium-bodied taste. Pair homework with wine and defy the monotony of balancing those pesky chemical equations.

With Zinfandel, the attraction is more transparent than those beakers you work with. Let your tongue simmer in the lightly spiced aftertaste as you calculate boiling temperatures of different pressures — but don’t feel the pressure to partake solely in the rose-tinted Zinfandel: there’s also a white.

Sauvignon Blanc and English

Like literature, a glass of Sauvignon Blanc will have you exploring the meaning and context of flavors such as honeydew melon, kiwi, passionfruit and grapefruit pith. What’s their purpose? Why such fruits? It’s open to interpretation, but I am pretty sure it’s to bring you a uniquely dry nightcap. With its hints of grass and mint, let this wine transport you to the green moors of Charlotte Bronte, Jane Austen and Henry James.

To encourage thought and speculation, gaze into the green-skinned grape liquid as you flip through the dense pages of your assigned reading. To pair homework with wine is to imbue an appreciation for words like “imbue.”

Relax with a dog-eared paperback while sipping this wine and be transported to a simpler time, a time where sipping wine while reading was a practice, not a suggestion. Say “cest la vie” to no longer skimming pages. Unwind and treasure the rich words laid out for your gleaming eyes to comprehend more deeply.

Pinot Gris and Art

Unless you are an art major, a simple art class is all you need to progress through your major, so draw through those abstractions with a simple glass of Pinot Gris. Produced in France and Italy, this wine will be sure to give you some inspiration in the beauty of delicate flavors from apple skins and pear sauce. With a little help from your end, these flavors will be sure to encourage you to enliven your painting or drawing.

Forget your magic eraser and have semi-erased lines streaking across your landscape? Take a sip of Pinot Gris and it will greet you with sympathy; Pinot Gris is also bitter. This dry wine is a great confidant. With the dry-inducing flavors like bitter almond and quinine, a white, flowery plant, you will be sure to feel accompanied by similar frustrations as you work out how to make a human head look less like a potato.

Look no further for your study buddy to make homework feel less like reliving a two-hour long lecture and more like an outing with friends. From the pastoral green lands of France to the meticulously crafted vineyards of Napa Valley, California, there’s a different type of wine for anyone in any field, and in this case, any subject.

There’s no need to feel hampered down studying for that huge final. As long as you have a glass of wine by your side, even the most complex of study questions becomes something you want to work at slowly so as to keep the fun going.

Feel less like a student and more like a gentleman or lady as you sip on the luxurious flavors that will revitalize your study time. Don’t be like the rest and trudge through earning your degree. Instead, be a relaxed student. Drink alcohol.

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