The Best Break-up Lines You Probably Shouldn’t Use
Movies are more than happy endings and sweet moments. Hollywood has created some pretty well written break-up lines.
By Mykaela Alvey, Anderson University
I’d say I’m safe in assuming that most of us have either delivered a break-up line or received one in the course of our dating lives.
They come in all shapes in sizes. It’s not you, it’s me. I just need to focus on finding myself right now. You deserve someone so much better than me.
Even the people who deliver the lines know they’re just delivering a load of crap, yet they continue to be delivered anyway because they sound better than the boring and predictable, “I don’t want to date you anymore.”
However, I’m not going to write about those. I chose to look at the best movie break-up lines. Hollywood is filled with some of the best, worst, heartbreaking, gut wrenching, tear jerking and sometimes incredibly hilarious break-up scenes.
I’m not saying you should use any of the lines to break-up with someone, but they are amusing to watch to say the least. So, let’s begin.
10. “Annie Hall” – Alvy’s break-up line to Annie
“A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.”
Who said analogies couldn’t be used as a way to break-up with someone? Way to add a little class to a bad situation.
Although it’s subtlety, there is still no way Annie could misunderstand the meaning. Plus, making your relationship a dead shark pulls the thoughts away from you specifically. Way to go, Alvy!
9. “Closer” – Alice’s break-up line to Dan
“I don’t love you anymore. Goodbye.”
Maybe Alice is on to something. Sometimes you might find more success if you keep your break-up short, sweet and to the point.
Granted, she didn’t end up stopping there, but for a minute she had a solid, if not heartbreaking, way to end things quickly. Don’t sugarcoat your meaning or talk in circles and make the other person confused. Just tell him/her the truth. You’re out, you’re done.
8. “Fight Club” – Marla’s break-up line to The Narrator
“You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”
By all means, don’t hold back. That’s one way to let them know don’t want to date anymore. I’m not saying I necessarily recommend using the line. Ever. But it does produce a kind of shock factor most other break-up lines don’t have.
7. “Bridget Jones’s Diary” – Bridget’s break-up line to Daniel
“If staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I’d rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein’s arse.”
Please, tell him how you really feel.
I love Bridget’s line simply because it’s empowering. No, I’m not writing a women’s feminism piece. I’m simply giving her some credit. She’s someone who is standing up to a pig of a man.
Come on, you didn’t really think these break-up lines would all be one way. Women have had some pretty great lines too. I’m all about giving credit when it’s due.
6. “Legally Blonde” – Warner’s break-up line to Elle
“If I’m gonna be a senator, well I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.”
Okay, maybe this one isn’t exactly valid because Warner is a narcissistic, sexist pig and we all hated him for breaking up with Elle. Regardless, you have to appreciate the line for how well he was able to execute it.
It’s like the shark analogy, yet somehow better. Maybe it’s because he used real people, but nonetheless, you have to admit he produced a pretty solid analogy.
5. “Gone with the Wind” – Rhett’s break-up line to Scarlett
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
I guess that’s one way to say you’re not interested anymore. Truthfully, Rhett may have been a pretty horrible guy, but Scarlett wasn’t all that great either. They were pretty much both horrible. Did she simply get what she deserved, you can decide for yourself.
4. “Superstar” – Sky’s break-up line to Evian
“I made up a new dance move. It’s called the Move on with Your Life.”
Well, he has to be given creativity points. Whoever thought you could dance your way out of a relationship? While the scene may not be the official break-up scene (that came earlier in the movie), the line is too perfect not to use.
3. “The War of the Roses” – Barbara’s break-up line to Oliver
“Because. When I watch you eat. When I see you asleep. When I look at you lately, I just want to smash your face in.”
I’m not validating the line as the best reason to give a man when you want to divorce him, but I have to admit to the effectiveness. Also, after hearing her, he would probably be wise to just leave. Why take your chances with an angry woman who has thought about smashing your face in? Yikes.
2. “500 Days of Summer” – Summer’s break-up line to Tom
“I just… I just woke up one day and I knew.” “Knew what?” “…What I was never sure of with you.”
Talk about a somewhat touching break-up line. You can just feel the knife through the gut.
Am I the only one who just can’t help but understand where Summer is coming from? I don’t know, maybe it’s a woman thing. I’d say this was a more fluent variation of the, “It’s not you, it’s me” break-up line.
1. “Titanic” – Rose’s break-up line to Cal
“I’d rather be his whore than your wife.”
I just really wanted to end with this one because, simply put, I think it’s one of the best lines. Personally, I’m not a fan of the actual movie, but I’m most certainly a fan of Rose’s incredibly powerful line. Way to put him in his place, Rose!
