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This year, here’s what you shouldn’t do.

Anti-Resolutions List

The 2016 To-Not-Do List

Resolutions you can definitely do because you don’t have to do anything to do them.

By Juliana Neves, Loyola University


While everyone else is enjoying the fireworks, singing and cliché wedding proposals, you’re sitting alone in the corner sipping champagne.

At first you think to yourself, “Wow this is really good champagne.” But then you think to yourself, “Man I really gotta get my life together.”

You’re suddenly filled with determination to be a better person inside and out. Finally, you’ll read Ulysses and start that Pilates class. And while the seconds before the New Year seemed so promising, we all know the truth. Once the ball drops, so do all the hopes for your New Year’s resolution.

The good new is that New Year’s resolution are nothing more than a to do list. And what happens to most to do lists? They don’t get done. They get crumpled up after a week or so of false determination.

Most of the time, it’s because all the stuff to do is overwhelming. So, instead, I made a New Year’s resolutions of stuff not to do. With a list like this, you can’t not succeed.

Don’t waste time with people you don’t really enjoy (or who don’t enjoy you)

Let’s be honest, we’ve all made the excuse to avoid already-made plans. As you grow older, especially in college, you begin to realize that a lot of relationships you have are superficial.

This isn’t me telling you to become a hermit—think of it as downsizing. Instead of wasting time by putting up with people who suck and make you feel miserable, rid yourself of the bad vibes. You’ll be a whole lot happier and you’ll have more free time for the friends you actually do appreciate.

Don’t worry about appearance

We all (guys too) spend way too much worrying about what others see. Even though you spend half an hour in front of the mirror trying to replicate Adele’s impossible eye liner, you’re still going to end up looking like the newest member of Kiss.

The truth is most people are too concerned with their own appearance to worry about yours. Don’t spend time and money on makeup and clothes. This year, try toning it down. You’ll be praised for being so confident without makeup, even though you know that you’re just checking a resolution off. The natural look is the new thing anyway.

Don’t say NO all the time

Good ol’ D.A.R.E. has ingrained NO into our heads. Saying NO to (hard) drugs is a good thing, just to clarify. However, we say NO to more than just the bad things; we say it to the good things too. We say NO to new things we are afraid of trying.

I once had a professor tell me, “If it’s moral and legal, try it at least once.” Instead of asking why, ask why not. You might end up surprising yourself, not saying no to a new club, a new group of friends or even a new food.

Don’t do what everyone is telling you to do (except for this advice)

The nagging, the incessant nagging. It seems like everyone, not just your parents, feels the need to advise you on your every action. Suddenly, everyone has a PhD in your life and is dying to give you their best advice to help you make it through the week.

The motivational cat posters at your dentist even begin to become too pushy. Stop listening.

Stop doing what people tell you, because—news flash—it’s your life, not theirs. Don’t tell them to stop giving advice, because that would be doing something and this is a Don’t do Resolution. Instead, nod and smile, just nod and smile.

Don’t sleep so much

As college students, we pride ourselves on our ability to function on less than four hours of sleep. We can basically run on a prolonged cat nap, with a little coffee if necessary.

Don’t go trying to see how long you can go without sleeping, you won’t make it (and if you’re following #2 you won’t be looking so hot either). But you don’t need to sleep until the cafeteria is no longer serving lunch.

Don’t take yourself too seriously

Resolutions are just a way for you to better yourself. If you are a completely terrible human being, you probably should take self-improvement seriously. But if you’re just an average, pretty decent human being trying to make it through life, don’t get hung up on resolutions.

You’re not a terrible person because you didn’t complete a resolution list, you’re just a little lazy. If you can’t do these don’t do resolutions though, you might want to give up the whole resolution thing. It’s not your forte.

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