Gossip is often seen as a bad thing in Western culture, but what about its perks?
Being a chismosa is often associated with nosiness, being a snoop and sticking your nose in places it doesn’t belong. I would argue that chismis or gossip is an essential part of living, especially in a communal sense. Being a chismosa means you take notice of others and help keep them in line.
For example, a recent hot topic in my family has been how I work too much and miss family events. While the idea of being gossiped about is not the greatest feeling, these are topics my family would also bring up to my face! After a recent birthday party, my mom informed me that I was the chismis topic, and it made me realize how little time I do intentionally set aside for my family.
While gossiping can be fueled by things like jealousy or hate, it can also be fueled by the truth. In Filipino culture, chismis is often related to the above example, closer to observations made with care rather than malicious gossip.
Filipinos share a strong value based on the concept of kapwa. This term means unity or a sense of being connected to one another. Another prominent value in Filipino culture is the idea of pakikisama, which is the need for harmony amongst others. Such values are the driving force of Filipino culture, reminding everyone of the importance of community.
Hiya is another important concept in Filipino society. Meaning shame, the concept behind it emphasizes the idea of representing one’s family with honor to avoid social judgment. While these three values can be negative and push out people who are different, it does a lot of good too.
In a highly individualistic society focused on the self and standing out from others, these Filipino values and chismis remind people of the importance in community. A lot of common struggles in the West such as affording housing, raising children and feeling lonely could be a little easier with a community behind you. The term, “it takes a village,” is true!
Outside of Filipino culture, open and honest feedback is mostly frowned upon. Westerners avoid conflict as much as possible even if the intention is harmless. The right to feeling comfortable and avoiding conflict in several settings is another value in the United States that avoids truthful conversations. In the workplace, it’s especially important to be able to take and apply feedback without reacting emotionally.
While it may not feel great to hear that your work isn’t its best, or that someone doesn’t like the way you said something, how are you supposed to grow otherwise? Direct feedback allows one to be informed on how they interact with others, and how to work better towards a common good. We could benefit from some chismis.
