Winter is usually a time for cozy sweaters, hot cocoa by the fire and cuddling up and watching your favorite Christmas movies with your significant other. But what if you don’t have a partner? It’s no secret that the holiday season is known for new relationships to bloom. Known as “cuffing season,” it is a time for many eager eligible bachelors and bachelorettes to try and find that special someone in the hopes of having a hallmark ending to the year.
However, with this hunt for love comes the stress of mingling with strangers. Whether it is by meeting them in the street or through swiping right on a dating app, many fear the awkward conversations to be had between two individuals who are waiting to see if sparks will fly. What if no connection is made? It’s quite common for ghosting to happen as one or both of the parties become bored with the back and forth prodding of one’s personal life. However, this shouldn’t deter anyone from putting themselves out there.
Dating Strategies 101: The Do’s and the Don’ts
There are a few things to remember while hunting down a significant other, especially during cuffing season. No matter what one may be looking for, there are always different ways to approach people in order to not scare them away. Here are a few:
Do: Always be yourself. While it is a cliché statement said to every eager newcomer finding themselves on the dating scene, it does have some truth in it. It’s better for someone to find an interest in another’s genuine personality than for them to fall in love with a fake persona put on in order to impress. Put everything onto the table and don’t hold back.
Don’t: Never give too much information away. Knowing too much about someone takes away the mystery. Give subtle clues about yourself but leave enough information up in there to pique their curiosity and push them to wish to continue the conversation.
Do: Be honest. It’s best for someone to be straightforward about what they are looking for when talking to someone romantically. Hiding desires can lead to unwanted falling outs or fights later on if a relationship is pursued.
Don’t: Don’t be too clingy. Being clingy too fast can scare a potential partner off. It’s great to show affection and be honest about feelings, but too much too soon can cause emotional suffocation. Starting off slow can be the best practice, but it is different with every relationship. Depending on the flow of the couple, taking things faster than normal may just be the best depending on the two individuals.
Swiping Right: Does it work?
In a world surrounded by technology, it can be hard to find a partner, even during cuffing season, while everyone has their faces buried in their cellphones. Luckily, there are apps for that. Tinder and Bumble, among others, are popular ways for those struggling to put themselves out there to have a chance in the dating pool. However, there is some stigma that comes with using these apps. Many will say that they are primarily used to find hook-ups and that the sites are littered with both men and women who have less than tasteful personalities.
Luckily, there are the few out there who have had luck with the apps. I, being one of them, found a match not long after downloading Tinder. While it took a lot of swiping and attempting to have conversations with really bland men, I came across one who’s profile stood out to me; “Looking for something 100 percent serious.” An odd comment to find underneath the profile of any individual found on Tinder, but one I related to as I was sick of dead-end relationships and was hoping to find something a little bit more mature.
Taking a chance, I swiped right and within minutes I had a message from him. Careful to not give too much information away, I played it cool and conversation began to flow naturally. Not long after this, I was asked to go out for some coffee. Being cautious, I shared my location with a few friend, and I proceeded to meet my Tinder match at a local coffee shop where we spent hours talking and getting to know each other.
Discovering that we had more in common than we thought, it became obvious that we were one of the lucky few who found success on the dating app. If looking to take a risk, Tinder may be a good option for many people this cuffing season. It’s a good opportunity to mingle in new environments and have a larger selection of potential partners to choose from depending on how far the radius is set.
Nevertheless, using Tinder, or any other similar site, needs to come with a willingness to go with the flow. An agenda or a target timeline cannot tag along as the unexpected is always expected to happen.
Throw any Preferences out of the window
Have an ideal type? A certain height requirement or hair color? Toss those out of the window. One cannot be choosy when hoping to have a better chance at finding that special someone. They always say, “Never say Never” and that rings true when looking for a partner. For example, I’ve always said I would never date or talk to someone from an Italian heritage. Coming from a large Italian family myself, I’ve had firsthand experience with the personalities and traits of many Italian men.
Wanting a change, I always looked for someone who had as little of this cultural background as possible. What happened? The man I made a match with on Tinder is 100% Italian and probably one of the best connections that I have ever made. So, forget preferences. Forget appearances. None of these things matter if looking for someone to create memories with.
The right person will come along and none of these superficial things will matter if the spark is there. There are many roads open in order to find a perfect match, but it is all up to the discretion of the individual. With 2020 right around the corner, maybe it’s time to take a chance this cuffing season and invite a little change in. It might just lead to a happily-ever-after.