The Perks of Being a D.U.F.F
Self-confidence, humor and admiration don’t seem like bad goals.
By Gabriela Hernandez, Kansas State University
According to the most reliable word bank in the world, Urban Dictionary, D.U.F.F. stands for Designated Ugly Fat Friend, and apparently every group of girls has one.
If you don’t know who it is in your group, then it’s probably you.
But if it is, you should consider yourself lucky. First of all, and this is important—being ugly or fat doesn’t make you a D.U.F.F.; it’s more of a mentality than an appearance.
D.U.F.F.’s are efficient, lovable and adventurous. They always stand up for what they believe in and will never allow society to take over their lives and impose rules that are meant to be broken.
These brave souls are really just chill girls who don’t care about what anyone else thinks. Learn how to be one, become one and love every second of it.
Everyone Loves Them
Most of the time, the D.U.F.F. in the group is super approachable and friendly. Since she doesn’t need to be the center of attention, she doesn’t laugh like a dying hyena while she flirts with every guy in the room.
People aren’t as intimidated by her because she’s usually not obnoxiously pretty or talkative, so she has a million friends who actually like her and don’t talk about her behind her back.
Guys love spending time with her because she doesn’t talk about how fat she’s getting, and girls love having her around because she is an amazing wingman.
They’re also great friends. Any D.U.F.F. will always have her besties in mind at the bars, and she’ll pull double-duty with potentials: Keeping away the scrubs away but bringing cute guys to her friends.
You will never, ever hear a D.U.F.F. say mean things about other girls, because there really isn’t any competition. She might not be the hottest girl in town, but she is confident and smart.
They’re Never Afraid to Be Themselves
According to society, girls have to be feminine, smell nice and always act like ladies. What about having fun and skipping showers? While I am not suggesting a dose of B.O. and bad hygiene, it is important to let loose sometimes and not worry about spraying Bombshell every single time you leave your house.
Also, since D.U.F.F.’s don’t usually wear flirty dresses or tight skirts, they don’t have to worry about “sitting like a lady.” She gets to sit however and wherever she wants to, because why not? And since she is not afraid of being disliked, she will say what she means and mean what she says. If she thinks that shirt makes your rolls look like they need to be buttered, she will tell you.
She might also drop a few (or a lot) of F-bombs because that movie was fucking hilarious or Bryce from Chemistry II is fucking hot. You might also see her at the bars taking shots of vodka or drinking a beer because she actually really likes it, not because Bryce thinks it’s cool when girls drink beer.
She will probably be Brennan from Step Brothers instead of a slutty cheetah for Halloween, and her favorite drinking game is probably Flip Cup because a stain or two on her new top isn’t that big of a deal.
Never Obsessed with Their Looks
D.U.F.F.’s are the most efficient girls in the world, and they know that sleep is 1,000 times more important that contouring and blending. She will usually rock sweatpants, a hoodie and her hair up in a bun because it’s comfortable as hell.
Since she isn’t trying to impress the frat guys in her business classes—or more importantly the girls—she doesn’t feel the need to get up an hour early to put makeup on and brush her hair.
Imagine how much time and energy you would save if you boycotted makeup during the week. You might actually have time to eat breakfast instead of a Great Value bar, sleep longer than 4 hours and maybe actually learn how to construct a business plan in your 8:30 lecture.
When her friends text her about last minute plans, she doesn’t need 2 hours to get dressed. She puts on what feels best and maybe some chapstick in the winter. A D.U.F.F. still cares about her appearance and loves to be healthy, she just doesn’t rely on those qualities to make friends or attract guys. She knows that she is worth more than her Naked eyeshadow and Mac lipstick.
They Never Waste Their Time with Guys
While every guy you date should be your whipped cream topping and not your entire frappuccino, we can all admit that they kind of matter sometimes. A D.U.F.F. will never spend her precious time with a guy who is not worth it. She would rather write fifty research papers than Netflix and Chill with a guy who is clearly only interested in the Chill.
Since most guys are usually interested in her friends, she never has to worry about creeps dancing on her or throwing around pity pickup lines. She never tries too hard to flirt or catch someone’s eye so when a guy likes her, she knows it’s real.
And when she finally goes on a date, a true D.U.F.F. never worries about looking too hot because her date already knows what she looks like naturally. Guys know that she has a zit or two without makeup on, so she will never have to reapply foundation before her crush sees her after a thunderstorm.
She never has to worry about a guy using her for her looks, because even though she is cute most of the time, guys interested in her probably care about the real her. Guys like D.U.F.F.’s because they say they want chocolate ice cream at Cold Stone, not fruit salad; they don’t need to Google jokes because they’re already funny, and they watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians and are damn proud of it.