Christmas! That time of year when commercialism makes a vulgar caricature of itself, rates of depression and other mental illnesses spike, and Mariah Carey unthaws to spearhead the season’s most overplayed tunes. For those who may not have as cynical a view toward the holidays, there is one reality about Christmas that most everyone has faced at some point in their lives: crappy gifts.
No matter who you are or where you come from, no one is immune to the plague of poorly thought-out presents or last-minute purchases. If that’s not bad enough, the worst ones are usually gimmicky, focusing on a person’s most noticeable trait like their job, a specific hobby, or even something they may hold only a mild interest in. And of all these poor victims of passé partridges in a pear tree, none are more affected than the musician.
With all of the practicing, gigging, traveling and recording musicians partake in, it can be a struggle for someone to figure out what to get their musician friend for Christmas. It isn’t easy getting someone the perfect gift, but it’s remarkably easy to get them a very bad gift. For all of those who have musician friends, family or loved ones, here are some suggestions for gifts that are good, bad and ugly.
Gift Suggestions
Before anything else, don’t immediately go searching for the best music-related presents the internet has to offer. Make an effort to find them a gift that requires more thought than simply taking note of someone’s most noticeable trait or job. It shows that they’re not just the musician friend, simply a friend. There’s also nothing wrong with asking them what they would like for Christmas if doing so is comfortable. If nothing else, then get socks. No one has too many socks.
DON’T GET – Another Instrument – Unless it’s for someone who wants to pick up music or had their prior instrument stolen, there’s really no point in getting the musician friend another tool for their work. Most instruments are far outside of a lot of people’s budgets, and the person finding the gift may not know what makes one different from another in terms of quality. There’s also the possibility that if the person is just starting to play music, they may become disinterested and place the instrument in the closet to collect dust.
DO GET – Instrument Necessities – Just like cars need to be kept up and cared for, so do instruments, as their parts must be maintained and playable. Getting parts for a musician friend shows that you’re not only attentive toward what they need in life, but also attentive to the specifics of their life. Whether it’s strings, picks, reeds, mallets, sticks or anything else, there’s nothing wrong with a quick Internet search to see what each instrument may require.
DON’T GET – Online Lessons – This one doesn’t apply to every instrument as much as it does for instruments typically in popular genres of music — piano, guitar, bass and others. Oftentimes, these lessons are below the skill level of many players. They can also be taken as an insult, suggesting to the musician friend that their technical skill is a bit lacking and needs improvement.
DO GET – Gift Cards – If there’s one thing musicians really need, it’s money. Unless they pride themselves on embodying the starving artist trope, no one is going to say no to free money. Whether it be for an online marketplace or the local music store, there’s nothing wrong with a gift card.
DON’T GET – Gimmicky Kitchen Items – Much like how crackers will be shaped into animals to get kids to eat them, companies have also invested in cutlery, ice boxes, cookie cutters, pans and lids, decorations and other various kitchen items. The problem is that these items often compromise quality, function and ergonomics for a quirky aesthetic. Eating utensils are especially at fault for this as they can be difficult or uncomfortable to hold properly and use.
DO GET – Conventional Kitchen Items or Small Radio – There’s no absolutely no reason not to get someone, musician or otherwise, conventional kitchen items like knives, pots and pans. Better yet, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get someone a small radio for their kitchen, so they can listen to music while they cook or clean. If the radio also had an available CD player or Bluetooth, even better; they can personally choose what songs they’d like to hear.
DON’T GET – Band/Company Logo Shirts – Apart from the cliché that clothes are the #1 most common gift, it becomes trickier with the print. Even if they do like the artist or the company, it is entirely possible that they may be building up a large accumulation of logo shirts in their increasingly cramped closet. There’s also the possibility that the musician friend’s tastes or interests have changed, causing some awkwardness. No one wants to make the mistake of getting someone a Metallica shirt when they prefer Megadeth.
DO GET – Band/Company Logo Socks – The same problems of the logo shirt apply here, but they aren’t as noticeable. The sock isn’t meant to be immediately seen, so nobody is going to notice the sock hiding either underneath your shoes or pants. Also, it bears repeating: no one has too many socks.
It may be tempting to be gimmicky and comical while finding a holiday gift for your musician friend, but don’t. Just don’t. There’s nothing wrong with getting them normal, conventional gifts, and personally asking them if they would like anything in particular. Please remember that the musician is much more than just that, they’re first and foremost a human.
