Everyone hates heartbreak and the feelings that come with it. After feeling crushed from a breakup, you may view time as the only resolution. Although everyone heals at different paces, the process of getting over somebody is still absolutely brutal.
From listening to sad music, looking back at old text messages and reminiscing on your favorite memories with your significant other, the road to happiness after a breakup brings a variety of feelings. Amidst the emotional chaos, the best part of the process is realizing that you will get over them.
Your mind is full of thousands of thoughts, many of which may be about your ex, yet, over time, those thoughts will be less about them and more about other important things (because let’s be real, a heartbreaker isn’t worth any more of your time anyway). Here are some signs that you’re finally past your old special someone.
1. A Change in Playlists
When you’re hurting from a wounded heart, you may find refuge in melancholy songs. You’ve spent countless late nights listening to soft piano melodies with depressing lyrics about rain and hopelessness. Even though you weren’t in the mood to be depressed, the songs made it one of those gloomy nights yet again.
But, if you’re truly over that person, your late-night music sessions are going to transform. Instead of gravitating towards nostalgic, dreary songs, you’ll find yourself jamming out to encouraging hits more often. I literally created a Spotify playlist dedicated to empowering myself when I felt discouraged—one of its songs is even called “Don’t Want You Back.” I could literally belt out every melody with my girls while cruising down PCH (every college student’s dream, right?).
When your music taste becomes more heartening, your attitude will develop to also be more fearless. No longer are you hung up over your dreary past, but you’re looking forward to your exhilarating future. When you’ve gotten over someone, you’ve made the bold decision to change your perspective and do what’s best for you. Listening to music that makes you feel genuinely self-reliant and tenacious shows that you’ve prioritized yourself above your ex and the pain that they caused.
2. Greeting Cards in Real Life
When you first cut ties with your ex, you dreaded running into them again (especially if you both go to the same college). When you spotted them around the corner, you ran the other way to avoid awkward conversation. You and your ex were in a long-standing battle of “who can dodge eye contact for the longest.”
You forfeit that battle when you move on from your painful history with that person. Instead of darting from them, you’ll actually say a quaint, polite “hello” before putting your headphones back in and trekking to class. Of course, you’ll still text your best friend afterward about how uncomfortable the situation was, but hey, at least you didn’t sprint towards the bathroom like you used to do.
Eventually, you have to accept the inconvenient reality that your ex still exists (even if your heart soars at the thought of never having to see them again). Scrolling on your cracked iPhone through Instagram posts you’ve already liked can’t be your hideout forever; Once you’ve forced yourself to accept your ex’s presence again, your mind will propel toward mental sanity once more.
3. That Awkward Follow Back
In your passionate rage and irritation, you spontaneously decided to unfollow your ex on all social media. A complete detachment was probably essential for you to move on, since you could no longer watch their Snapchat stories a dozen times and squint to see if a tall, blonde model was somewhere near them.
However, the possibility of a “social media reconciliation” creeps into your mind one day. You don’t have to be best buddies, but you can have a cordial acquaintance that’s solely restricted to the online realm. So, you type their name into your Instagram search button (but let’s be real, their account is already in your “most recent” list from when you were stalking their relationship status) and press the “follow” button.
The most painfully awkward moment of this step is waiting to a) see if they allow you to stalk them even more and b) if they have any desire to stalk you back. Once you breathe a sigh of relief when they follow you back, you have now earned the opportunity to freely scroll through their posts and see what they’ve been up to. You vow to make your Instagram account look incredible now, Googling the best filters and scheming on how to present your life as more fun than it actually is.
But in all honesty, following your ex on Instagram again isn’t a must-do. Sometimes, a clean break proves to be the best form of resolution, especially if it was a deeply wounding fallout. There’s no sense in reopening healed scars, so know your limits with ex interactions. It’s completely understandable if the embarrassing hellos are enough for you.
4. You’re Ready to Do it Again
On a more serious note, the most defining sign of moving on from somebody is when you’re ready to date again—whether you accomplish that by hesitantly trying Tinder, swiping left and right for hours, or by just socializing with more people. If you can easily picture yourself adventuring out on a first date, uncontrollably laughing with somebody new or even creating an embarrassing story to tell your friends later that night, then you’ve reached the “I’m ready to mingle” status.
Heartache instills a pessimism toward love and all that it encompasses. So yes, sad songs are the medicine for hating the world and hurting with a broken heart and imagining that your ex is off of this Earth is the perfect solution for the endless frustration and irritation with them. Yet time and self-love prove to be the only path in truly getting over somebody, and for some crazy reason you’ll want to endure the same process all over again.