Whether you’re living in a dorm room or an off-campus apartment, the college experience often includes sharing your sleeping (and bathing, eating and breathing) space with another human being. Then again, college is a time of sexual exploration and experimentation for many people. The two can be difficult to reconcile sometimes, especially if you’re not used to sharing a room.
For the sexually active college student, the dorm room can be a nightmare, but it doesn’t have to be. I have lived with friends, foes and near-strangers in minuscule dorm rooms for the past three years, had my share of awkward experiences and learned how to avoid them. Never fear: I survived the dorm room life and I’m here to share my hard-earned wisdom with you.
1. Work with your roommate(s)
Your roommate doesn’t need to be an obstacle between you and your sex life in college. Even if the two of you aren’t comfortable talking about sex with each other, you should still be able to come up with a system that will allow you both to stay out of each other’s way when one of you needs a little privacy.
Share your schedules for classes, jobs and clubs with each other. If it helps you remember, you can print a copy of your schedule and post it on the wall. That way, you will both know when you can expect to have some alone time in the room.
Also, make sure your roommate knows about any unexpected changes in your schedule and ask them to do the same for you. Whenever a professor cancels class or you get out of work early, shoot your roommate a text so they know their usual alone time is going to be cut short.
Finally, make sure your roommate is okay with having a guest sleeping in your room before you invite anyone to stay the night. If they don’t mind, it can also help to make sure each of you can find somewhere to sleep over. Then, if one of you wants to have a guest stay over once in a while, you’ll be able to make it work.
2. Keep your accessories in reach and out of sight
Discretion is important, no matter how lavish your collection is. A couple condoms or a small vibrator can usually be safely kept in a bedside table (unless you have a particularly nosy roommate).
A larger collection can go in a drawer, a locked box or a plastic bin. Wherever you keep your toys, make sure the container is opaque; you wouldn’t want your roommate and guests or your friends to catch sight of your handcuffs and little bullet vibrator through your transparent pink bin.
Keep your container under your bed or up in your closet so it’s out of the way but still easy to access. Use whatever works for you, but give your sexcessories a home that won’t be too obvious to an unexpected visitor.
And, most importantly, make sure to clean any toys and stow them away immediately after you’re done using them. If your RA ever does a surprise inspection, they might accidentally learn far too much about your personal life.
3. Invest in some quality supplies
The sheets that come in the dorm bedding sets from Bed, Bath, & Beyond are usually too rough to be very comfortable for sleep, never mind sex. Soft sheets are a small touch, but can make a big difference for setting the mood.
If you’re into vibrators, a quiet, discreet toy will be your best friend in any dormitory. If you have your own bathroom in your dorm or suite, take advantage of the shower’s privacy with a waterproof vibrator.
4. Create the atmosphere
You’ve successfully gotten rid of your roommate and found a home for your most prized possessions. The time has come to set the mood.
Believe it or not, creating a sensual atmosphere is, in fact, possible in a dorm room. Whether you’re going solo or with a partner (or a few), there are a couple ways to make sure everyone has the best experience possible.
First of all, keep your room clean. The smell of two-week-old pizza and that beer you spilled after the party last weekend won’t make anyone want to get sexy in there.
If you’re having company, make sure your new soft sheets are clean and the floor isn’t too cluttered. Light a few candles. If your dorm doesn’t allow candles, get a nice plug-in air freshener. Turn off the bright lights and turn on a lamp instead.
You can try putting on some music, as well. Not only can you set the mood with a good song, but it also helps to conceal what you’re doing. After all, dormitory walls are usually pretty thin, and having some background noise will keep your neighbors from knowing every time you decide to break out your rabbit.
5. Clean up after yourself
You’ve taken advantage of your alone time and had a successful sexual experience. Now’s the time to get rid of the evidence before your roommate comes home.
Spray some air freshener or crack a window if necessary. Pick up any discarded clothing and properly dispose of any used barrier contraception. Get dressed. If there were any other parties involved, make sure they’re dressed too. And, of course, don’t let them overstay their welcome.
Not everyone’s college situation is the same, so my advice might not work for everyone. Unfortunately, some roommates won’t be so cooperative. Others might have misgivings about someone having sex in their room. Nevertheless, I hope these tips will help you keep your sex life alive until you finally get to have a room of your very own.