The Foibles Hurting Your Friendships
If you’re guilty of any of these, your friends have probably noticed.
By Bri Griffith, Carlow University
I love my friends, but sometimes I hate my friends, and I know you know what I mean.
Your friends make you laugh, cry and cringe, all while annoying the shit out of you. Friendships take work, just like all other relationships in your life, and I know nobody is perfect. When you spend a lot of time with a group of people, their unique, yet irritating habits become abundantly clear.
From small to large, light to heavy, your friends have baggage you choose to carry. And whether any of them realize or not, your friends still bother you regardless of how much you love and appreciate them. Here are some things your friends might do to earn themselves temporary spots on your shit list.
You Tell Way Too Many (Any) “Dad Jokes.”
Okay, might not seem like a big deal, but I’m here to say: Dad jokes get on my last damn nerve. When the “tooth-hurty” dentist joke sneaks into any one of my conversations, I lose my cool. You know the kind of friend who lives for the pun, who thinks old school knock-knock jokes still make people laugh? I have a couple of them—cheesy friends who take “the joke is so bad it’s actually good” to a whole new level, and I always seem to miss the “good” part of the joke.
I took a trip to Laredo, Texas, last year for spring break, and had to listen to a friend make berry puns for over an hour. We volunteered to pack strawberries at the South Texas Food Bank and all I heard was, “This is berry fun,” and “Berry good work you guys.” I barely made it out alive.
You Treat Your Friends Like Chauffeurs.
One of my best friends always has plans for us, a place to go or people to chill with, and I love her ability to make something out of nothing. I don’t love her never offering to drive. If we’re going to the gym, out to eat or to spend the evening at Kennywood Park, I always end up driving. Her plans, my car, and she never offers gas money.
I funambulate between “She’s my friend she doesn’t have to pay me,” and “She should offer to pay me because she’s my friend,” which sometimes leads to an uncomfortable conversation about taking turns. Still, compromise is important in a friendship, especially since gas isn’t free.
All Your Friendships Must Include Your Significant Other.
A close friend starts to date someone, and all of a sudden you become an afterthought. What’s worse than not hanging out with your friend? Hanging out with them and their boyfriend/girlfriend. If I had a dollar for every time my one best friend put me in an uncomfortable third-wheel position, I’d pay off my student loans.
One time, the three of us went fishing, and everything was cool until they started making out. There I was—fishing rod in one hand, worm in the other and the couple to my left thinking they’re in “The Notebook.”
She wanted to include me in her plans, but instead of making more time for just me, she invited me to chill with her and her boyfriend. She was completely oblivious, and had no idea I felt so awkward until I started turning down her offers. No one wants to watch a movie sitting on one end of the couch alone, while a couple sits on the other end kissing and cuddling. No one.
You Judge How Your Friends Eat.
When eating, I don’t like to hear people say, “Ew, what the hell are you eating?” I have friends who make fun of my odd food combinations, like sausage links dipped in Maple syrup, french fries with mayo or popcorn with ice cream.
Judging by their distaste, you’d think I was eating a steaming hot plate of garbage right before their eyes.
I eat what I like, and don’t want to hear about how bad the food is, or how unusual the taste combinations are—I just want to eat in peace. I don’t like feeling insecure because a friend decides to say, “That’s seriously the grossest thing ever.” You’re not eating the food, I am, so shut up.
You Treat Twitter Like a Diary.
I’m always on Twitter, but I’m not a fan of everything I read on there. Sometimes, my friends use their Twitters to ask for new friends. When I scroll through my timeline and read a friend’s tweet, “I wish my friends weren’t so boring. I need new fun friends,” I start to question where I stand with them.
I know your profile is yours, and you’re allowed to post whatever you want, but people will be reading what you put out there. My feelings have been hurt before reading tweets like, “I wish I had one person to count on.” You may not always realize your friends feel bad about what you put on Twitter. I just want my friends to know I’m there for them whether they’re happy or not, and they can talk with me about how they’re feeling.
You Have No Idea What’s Going On.
I recently got together with an old high school friend, and as our conversation progressed, eventually she asked me about Malala Yousafzai. I couldn’t believe she didn’t know anything about Malala. I have friends who live life almost completely unaware of who important people are, and sometimes the naivety is frustrating. They’ve never seen a presidential debate, and the icing on the cake is, most of them aren’t registered to vote.
I don’t expect them to understand everything about politics, but I think they should know who’s running for what, especially President of the United States. Sometimes I want to go deeper than, “What should we chase this vodka with?” I want to have serious conversations, and some of my friends can’t reciprocate.
Of course I love my friends, because if I didn’t I’d try to find new ones. Everybody is weird in their own way, but the question is: Who best complements your weirdness with their weirdness? That’s who you should be living life with. Your friends drive you nuts, but remember, you’re also driving them nuts. The cool thing about friendship is working through the kinks, and loving each other anyway.