Culture x
How to Date a Stoner When You’re Straightedge

He might care more about 4/20 than Valentine’s Day, but your friends are going to love him.

Throughout high school I was one of the few friends who always left the party sober. As someone who generally does not drink or smoke, I went on for years envisioning my future Prince Charming as my sober partner in crime. I imagined a relationship where there would always be someone who could drive (not about to blow all my money on cabs), parties would be more fun with a coherent buddy and neither of us would need to hold the others hair back.

Aside from having my very own party buddy, it just seemed like the right idea to be with someone who shared sobriety with me. This was the romantic companionship I had always expected to be in.

Flash forward to freshman year of college, where I found myself in a relationship with my first boyfriend. Well, technically not my first boyfriend—my first stoner boyfriend. What’s the difference? Allow me to tell you.

He’s Knows Half of the Campus Population

Yeah, that’s a lot of people. This is primarily because of his pastime of going in and out of smoke sessions with all different types of students. Whether they’re art majors, techies, musicians, science nerds or even the undeclared, no one’s turned down from the circle.

How to Date a Stoner When You’re Straightedge

It also helps that he’s a friendly guy. For those times when I came along with him, I’d have the chance to meet really interesting, fun people. Most importantly, I never felt judged for being straightedge. In reality, no one cares if you smoke or not as long as you don’t ruin their high.

If you’re someone who’s a bit shy, then boy, do you I some news for you: High people are not intimidating. Their relaxed vibe creates a comfortable environment, making it easier on the nerves to socialize. So even If I didn’t end up becoming besties with everyone I met through my boyfriend, getting to have a relaxed conversation with them was always a good time.

You Will Never Be Bored

Stoners are natural conversationalists, so he’ll share any weird, extraneous thought that comes to his mind, and you’ll have no choice but to engage in lengthy discussions about them. Conversations range from being profound and emotional, to simpler things like what you would blow a thousand dollars on.

Intimate communication like this is very stimulating and incredible in allowing you both to explore each other’s personalities. Plus, you’ll get to do a fair share of talking yourself because he’s just as interested in what you have to say about the funny stuff that goes on in your head.

You Can Enjoy the Munchies with Him

He’ll be the only one that’s high, but he’ll share all of his food with you. The best part? You’ll never feel self-conscious about shamelessly stuffing your face, because he’s most likely going to do the same thing.

It’s important to be careful with what foods you take from him because, coming from experience, accidently eating an edible is a more possible mistake than people think.

Impress Your Friends

Let’s be honest, we shadily want to impress the hell out of our friends when we introduce them to our significant other. For that reason dating a stoner is definitely ideal. You won’t have to worry about it being awkward when he hangs out with you and your girlfriends, because they will adore him.

I mean, what’s not to love? He’s fun to talk to, treats their friend right and most importantly, he smokes them out! What a gentleman, am I right? The only problem with this is making sure their love for him doesn’t backfire on you.

The Best Stories

I love a story with an interesting plot, an exciting climax and well-developed characters. If this is the case for you too, then I suggest dating a stoner, because chances are he’ll have the most entertaining stories to tell you. Disclaimer: Most of these stories will have cliff hangers.

In addition to his knack for telling stories, he will always be ready to venture out and make new ones. He’ll always encourage exploring nature and being outside, mostly because that’s where all of his smoke spots are, but also because nothing beats the serenity of nature. Not gonna lie, it’s super romantic when he takes you to his favorite nature spots.

Making the decision to disregard my boyfriend’s hobby was a surprise to myself because I wasn’t fully convinced it was something that could be overlooked. Yet, the seasons (like the joints) passed through freshman year, and what I’m most proud to say is that through it all, my boyfriend and I are happy together.

I would love to conclude that all straightedge/stoner couples are going to be success stories, but that wouldn’t be true. It doesn’t always work out. One thing is for sure though, both partners should steer clear from trying to change each other. I strongly believe that the choice of sobriety is solely up to whoever’s body is doing the consumption (excepting the law, of course). Not even your bae should be pressuring you to change who you are. If they do, then it’s time to move on to the next one.

Even though it’s probably more likely that my boyfriend remembers 4/20 than Valentine’s Day, he’s given me the support, respect and companionship that any boyfriend should.

Playwriting and Songwriting
Social Media

Leave a Reply