Psychoanalysis and coffee go together like your favorite pastry and, well, coffee. The type of coffee you favor says a lot about you as a person. So I’ve decided to consult the experts: Myers-Briggs.
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is an introspective self-report that deals with psychological types. The MBTI breaks down into sixteen different personality types for people to better understand themselves.
If you don’t already know your personality type (shout outs to all the ENTJs!) you can take the test here, with little cost to your self-perception. For those of you who are too lazy to take the test, but still want to know which coffee drink you identify with, here’s the rundown:
Introvert vs. Extrovert = mind (how you interact with your surroundings).
Intuitive vs. Observant = energy (how you see the world and process information).
Thinking vs. Feeling = nature (how you make decisions and cope with emotions).
Judging vs. Prospecting = tactic (how you approach work, planning and decision-making).
Now that you’re all honorary PhDs, let’s unveil the dark and twisted secrets of your personality (and coffee to match).
You’re dependable. And you like your coffee to be dependable, too: a simple blend of espresso and steamed milk. You are efficient and realistic, realizing that not all the world’s problems can be solved, but that your problems can be. You strive for attainability.
You are always “GO! GO! GO!” You live a hectic, fast-paced life of deadlines, meetings and appointments. Your schedule is packed, but is planned as if it were a work of art. And it is. You’re dedicated, ambitious and compartmentalizing. Maybe that’s the way you justify your Espresso Doppio (double shot!) twice a day.
With three parts existing harmoniously and autonomously: foam, milk and espresso, it’s the perfect paradox. Masters of independence, seekers of knowledge and logical dream-chasers, you want to be everything at once. Nothing settles your sanity better than a cappuccino: elegant, emphatic and partial to random epiphanies.
ENTP: Flat White
A flat white is part espresso and part milky foam, creating the best of both worlds. Just like your coffee, you thrive on duality: enthusiastic but realistic, inquisitive but responsible. You know how to maintain a balance in life and you want a coffee that can achieve the same. The jolt from the espresso is juxtaposed heavenly by the rich and velvety milk. It’s your siren song.
You search for the beautiful and the practical. The refined and the bold. The chocolate and the coffee. You are warm and sensitive in nature, and like to look at the world in an optimistic light. You are disappointed easily and have to learn that not everyone’s burdens need become your own.
ENFJ: Irish Coffee
A shot of whiskey and whipped cream makes even the most mundane of parties fun! You are outgoing, pushing the boundaries of what is acceptable. Charismatic to a fault, no one can resist your charms. And while you value friendships and laughs, take care to appraise the appropriate situations for your unique brand of humor.
ISFJ: Chai Latte
The base of black tea and milk give the chai latte an unknown complexity. And just like you, the warm spices add gentleness and compassion. You make the best of every situation. You love having friends come to you for advice. You know how to have your fun, but have no qualms playing “the mom” of your squad.
With an uncomplicated duo of espresso and hot water, you like everything straight to the point. You are responsible and trustworthy. You work hard and you give your all to anything and everything you do. In fact, the only one who can keep up with you is an Americano. Just don’t forget to loosen the tie every now and then.
INFP: Iced Latte
The same dependability with less of the intensity. You both know how to let your hair down. You are creative and idealistic. You have a close circle of friends you live and die for. And while you have no problems being who you are, you prefer to internalize and search life for all its possibilities.
INFJ: Turkish Coffee
You are a traditionalist. You like things done with feeling, with a history behind it. And no coffee holds more history than this one. An effortless pairing of ground coffee and sugar water, this drink has been the favorite of Sultans and Kings. Its legacy is strong, much like your sense of self. You enjoy the details of life, finding pleasure in a sunset or the solitude of a long walk.
You are a social butterfly. You have a long contact list friends who enjoy your spontaneous and enthusiastic energy. You are a dash of milk in a lively espresso, but just because you are the life of the party doesn’t mean you don’t have a more responsible side to answer to come Monday morning.
You are quite the eccentric. Ice cream?! In an espresso?! You are playful, enthusiastic—never one to turn down a dare. However, you are intensely supportive of your friends and know what they need and when to give them that push in the right direction.
Ah, the gateway drug: coffee disguised as dessert. You are coming into your own. You are friendly, outgoing and every club wants you on their roster. You can just as easily be found at home with your sister watching “Mean Girls” with face masks on a Friday night as you can be all dolled up at a house party.
ISTP: Black Coffee
You are quick-minded and fast to respond. And you need a coffee that is equally responsive. A one-ingredient-wonder, if you will. You are incredibly methodical and, as a problem solver, your mind is constantly seeking answers. However, you are also easily overwhelmed and need to learn to step out of your sensibilities every once in awhile.
INTP: Iced Coffee
Coffee’s casual cousin. You see life as it is with all its positives and negatives. But being a realist can only get you so far. You tend to rest on your laurels, handling stress well and taking comfort in the work and friendships you possess, instead of taking that one step further.
ESTP: Nitro Cold Brew
Nitro brew is cold brew coffee, from a tap and infused with nitrogen. A new innovation in the world of coffee, it’s curious and adventurous, just like you. You tend to be on the curve of every new trend and are spontaneous in your approach to things. However, you are also versatile and able to adapt to whatever is being thrown your way. You make everything your own!
However, no matter how ingenuous the Myers-Briggs contribution has been to cognitive psychology, they failed to capture one prominent personality type.
BASIC: Pumpkin Spice Latte
You can be found browsing the J. Crew website during a 10 a.m. communication class decked out in signature UGGs and “Pinterest curls.” Autumn, because calling it fall isn’t nearly as aesthetic, is your niche. And no matter how many times you’ve been told, you are unwilling to accept that the PSL isn’t available year-round.
With only sixteen personality types, it can sometimes seem that individual traits from one type overlap with another. Some people get lost in the shuffle or are caught between two personality types, and that’s okay. Psychology is not a perfect science. Labels and categories are not perfect, and neither are humans as a species. The truth can be a bitter pill to swallow, but luckily you’ve got all that coffee to wash it down with!