How to Tell if the Romance is Real
If you and your beau have experienced any of these, it’s time to start getting serious.
By Michelle Nektalov, SUNY Purchase
Whether you feel that commitment is an effortless duty or a daunting barrier to cross, there comes a time when you feel ready to take your relationship with someone to the next level.
I’m talking about making things official. It’s not always a given when the time is right, but here are some of the most accurate indications that you should probably ask your beau-to-be out.
1. Hanging Outside The Bedroom
Your fling started off with a few booty calls, but eventually having sex isn’t the only thing you want to do with your friend-with-benefits (Crazy, right?).
Spending time with them outside the bedroom is the first sign of progressing into an exclusive relationship. In fact, you get really excited to go to events on campus with them. You consider them your arm candy at parties rather than a back up plan for after the party.
Most importantly, you fall into daily routines together. You start counting on them to accompany you to the dining hall, and in a flash breakfast, lunch and dinner become a pastime you religiously do together.
2. Their Friends Are Your Friends
Since you two have been spending a considerable amount of time with one another, you’ve gotten the chance to kick back with each other’s friends. All of a sudden, you’re in on their inside jokes and have some new faces to say hi to as you walk through campus.
Once this happens, dining hall dates are never the same. As soon as they spot you they’ll pull up a chair, ignoring any signs indicating that you want privacy.
Now that you guys share the same friends, there’s always juicy gossip to go around between the two of you. It’s an odd habit that emerges from the personal trust you’ve built together throughout your relationship.
While hanging out you find yourselves automatically talking about who told you what, and comparing it to what the other heard about the matter from someone else. When you reassure someone, “Who would I tell?” as they spill their darkest secrets to you, you almost always give them immunity to that statement. No scandal is too private to share with them.
3. Seeing Each Other Over Breaks
Let’s face it—you miss them too much to wait an impossibly long two and a half weeks to see them again. Once video chatting before bedtime and good morning texts no longer cut it, it’s time to take action.
Never before did you see yourself begging your parents to let “just a friend from school” stay over. Even after they say no, you still find a place for them to sleep during their stay. Visiting each other over breaks speaks volumes about how you feel about them.
Obviously, this isn’t always possible. Maybe it isn’t as easy as a forty-five minute drive from Westchester to Long Island. Sometimes it requires a pricey flight. Sometimes FaceTime sleepovers and uncomfortable introductions to miscellaneous family members via video chat is all you can manage. It doesn’t mean you don’t care.
When you two are accustomed to seeing each other at least every other day, one week apart has never seemed so excruciatingly long. Just do me a favor—don’t completely ignore your friends to text them incessantly.
4. You Find Their Things In Your Room
I’m not talking about that one-night-stand’s sweatpants that you stole because your miniskirt and crop top isn’t warm enough to wear back to your dorm. I mean you find their right sock under your bed. You discover their Psych 101 textbook is still on your desk from when you guys “studied” for finals together.
Their Netflix is logged into your computer from that time you Netflix and Chilled together—while actually watching the film.
The funny thing about this is that after a while you both rely on one another to have things you can’t find. Remember that shirt you really liked? Well instead of looking for it, you’re just going to assume it’s safely tucked away in the corner of their dorm.
5. Their Body Language Is Different
As the bond between you and your potential sweetheart grows, their demeanor changes. It may not seem like it, but the way they choose to carry themselves around you is a sign that it’s time to get exclusive.
Conversations transform from mindless chitchat to deep discussions with heavy with eye contact. Even when you stand next to them, they position themselves closer to you than they would have when you two first got together.
Physical boundaries slowly melt away. You’ve grown so comfortable in their presence that their touch feels natural to you. What once began as awkwardly laying in bed together evolves into hardcore cuddling. (Yes, cuddling can be hardcore.) Now you can’t walk each other to class without holding hands. Maybe you guys will even throw in some moments of PDA.