You know something is wrong. Your husband doesn’t look at you the same way anymore, he doesn’t touch you the same way anymore, and he seems to be distant, vague and uninterested.
Not necessarily. Perhaps he might be stressed out from work or going through his own emotional issues. But there are certain things according to science that you can look out for.
If you notice any of these signs, don’t panic just yet. Always have an open conversation with your husband first before concluding that he would like to get a divorce. The below-mentioned signs are common aspects to look for before a divorce, but it does not necessarily mean that divorce is inevitable. It means that your marriage needs work to prevent a divorce from taking place.
1. Your Husband Plays the Victim and Blames You For Everything
Before getting divorced, many men begin to blame their wives for their bad behavior. They might start to play the victim in your marriage.
For example, if your husband is never home, he might say it’s because you don’t make him feel welcome, even though you try your best to be an amazing wife.
In many cases, this is a way to manipulate you and make you feel guilty. He might even accuse you of having an affair and not trusting him. If you confront him about something, he might turn it around on you and call you the crazy one for even thinking that way.
At the same time, though, if your spouse has a genuine concern about something that he doesn’t like in your marriage, listen to them and work together to sort the problem out. Communication is key in any marriage.
Sadly, the above scenario plays out often with many men who are thinking of leaving their wives, but you can never be 100% sure unless you find solid proof.
Just be wary of a husband who seems to complain about everything you do, especially if he never did before. This could be a sign that he is having an affair.
2. He Is No Longer Invested in Your Marriage
Has your husband given up on your marriage? Does he not care about you anymore and how you feel? If this is the case, he might very well be thinking about divorce. When a husband gives up and goes completely cold, it shows that there is something wrong.
If you talk to your husband about your marriage, does he shut down or give you the silent treatment? In some cases, he might just be trying to avoid conflict, but if this is an ongoing pattern in your marriage, something is amiss. Open communication is vital, and stonewalling could lead to the death of a happy marriage. Without being honest about yours and his feelings, the lifeblood of your union is at stake.
When a man gives up on your marriage and becomes apathetic, it could very well be that your husband is planning to leave you.
3. He Is Having an Affair
Not all men who cheat want a divorce. Some men might beg you to stay or say that it was a mistake and promise to change. If this is the case, you will need to decide if you want to take him back.
Some men might hide their affair for a while but then eventually decide to divorce their wives. If you think your husband is having an affair, you can ask him about it directly. In most cases, a husband might not be honest upfront. If he has been hiding his phone and text messages and behaving differently, then you might need to worry and dig a little deeper.
If he admits to an affair and you ask him to stop, but he refuses, it is time for you to walk away. Divorce is never easy, but neither is an unhappy marriage where a spouse is unfaithful.
The dictionary defines the word contempt as “the feeling that a person is worthless or beneath consideration.” If your spouse treats you as if you are worthless when they never did before, this is a significant warning sign that divorce is in the cards.
If your husband mocks you, humiliates you in public, calls you names, and attacks your personality, it means that he no longer values you. Yes, sometimes we all say things in anger, but if this is a reoccurring pattern in your marriage, it amounts to emotional abuse. When a marriage is subjected to this cruel behavior, it ends in divorce more often than not.
5. You Find Proof That Your Husband Wants a Divorce
This might seem like an obvious one, but many women have no idea that their husband wants a divorce until they find evidence. If you find history in your search browser about getting divorced, you might need to talk to your husband.
His friends or family might also hint that something is wrong. If you feel that something isn’t right, always trust your gut. A woman’s intuition is rarely wrong.
He might be toying with the idea and researching how to end your marriage. Once again, communication is vital. Allow him to be honest and think of ways to work together to improve your marriage. You might need to see a marriage counselor together or work harder on communicating your feelings.
6. Sex Is a Distant Memory
When was the last time you and your partner were intimate? A lack of intimacy is one of the leading causes of divorce in a marriage. If your partner refuses to make love to you, you need to ask yourself and him why.
Does he feel insecure about himself? Does he perhaps have a health problem? Or is he possibly receiving intimacy elsewhere? It is a terrible thought, but sadly this happens often. If you and your spouse are in a sexless marriage, it is important to seek a marital counselor’s help to determine why you aren’t having sex. Statistics show that between 15% and 20% of sexless marriages end in divorce.
A Basic Recap
Here are some of the signs that your husband wants a divorce.
- Emotional distance
- Tangible proof of wanting a divorce
- Playing victim
The Bottom Line
All of the above can be signs that your husband is planning on leaving you, but remember that, even if you notice some of these signs, it doesn’t mean that you will get divorced. Talk to your husband, find a marital counselor and work hard at communicating your feelings.
Hopefully, with the right amount of help, you will find yourself in a marriage that will last for many years to come.