Though they might seem like opposites, introverts and extroverts can thrive together, with the help of a few tips of course. (Illustration by Sofie Moustahfid, University of Maryland, College Park)
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Though they might seem like opposites, introverts and extroverts can thrive together, with the help of a few tips of course. (Illustration by Sofie Moustahfid, University of Maryland, College Park)

It might be hard, but it’s completely doable.

Introverts are generally thought of as quiet and reserved people who don’t like to party. Although this might be true for some introverts, or just occasionally true for others, introverts have a variety of qualities that go deeper into the realm of psychology. Whether you’re an introvert, an extrovert or a mix of both, this guide will help you if you ever find yourself in a relationship with a strict introvert.

Now, aside from being someone who isn’t loud and outgoing, introverts do like have fun and spend time with family and friends. However, not every introvert is the same, so depending on the person you’re dating, they might have different opinions on the following tips. It’s important to talk to your partner to understand their feelings and thoughts before jumping to the conclusion that they’ll feel the same way about every one of these guidelines. Some will agree to many, though, and if they do, read up on these tips for dating an introvert.

1. Don’t force them to go out.

Plans, plan, plans — not for introverts. Frequently going out can make an introvert tired and want more time alone. They prefer to be busy at times and go out occasionally, but unlike extroverts, they’re not wild or in need of plans every day.

Other responsibilities, like school or work, might take up a significant amount of their time, which would leave them drained by the end of the day. Plans after work aren’t generally on the calendar of an introvert, so if they don’t want to meet you for dinner one night, it’s probably because they’ve already done too much for the day. Try again on the weekend.

2. Give them their much-needed alone time.

Yes, sometimes that means from you too. Although your partner loves you, social interaction with others, including you, can be a bit draining, both mentally and physically. Introverts need time to relax by themselves and enjoy their own hobbies independently.

They still need you, family and friends in their life, but they also need proper alone time like anyone else. The nonstop socializing is definitely not a pastime introverts care to partake in — with or without you.

3. Know that they have a time limit.

By time limit, I mean the time it takes before an introvert taps out for the day or night. Every introvert will have their own limit, whether it’s three hours, seven hours or the entire day but then a week in hiding.

Picture this: You and your introverted partner are out for a day of fun, and a few hours go by. Well, by that time, they might have reached their limit for how long they can spend with others. Don’t take it personally; it’s not that they aren’t having fun, they just need time to recharge for the next adventure. Understanding this is key to making the relationship work.

4. Don’t constantly remind them about how much you love them.

While some might not agree with this statement, others will. When going out with an introvert, you might feel as though they need a constant reminder of how wonderful they are — they don’t. Of course, it’s nice to hear how much you love them, but sometimes the attention can become bothersome to an introvert.

They might feel as though you think they think negatively of themselves, when in reality, it has nothing to do with a negative self-view but more to do with simply being introverted and not always focusing on the self. For once, you don’t need to give your partner the constant attention that many people desire from a lover.

5. Don’t assume that they have social anxiety.

While some introverts can seem like they have social anxiety or generalized anxiety disorder, not all introverts do. They might not want to go out and socialize all the time, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to because they get nervous around others — most likely, they easily get mentally shattered when socializing.

Instead of constantly talking to others in a social setting, they need time for themselves. In the party setting, introverts can easily become exhausted and need a break from the social interaction, and anxiety generally does not take part in any of it.

6. A quiet night in can make the perfect date.

Sure, introverts need their alone time, but some quiet time with you can be nice too. A laid-back date, like cuddling and watching movies, can keep an introvert happy. Simply being with you can make an introvert content, even if all you do is sit in silence and enjoy each other’s presence.

As long as they don’t need to go out for every date to make you happy, then you both can enjoy the peaceful date.

7. Don’t misinterpret their introversion as disrespect.

Just like people can mistake a shy person as being rude, people can misinterpret an introvert’s reserved personality as being disrespectful. Of course, this is not an introvert’s intention, and in reality, they’re probably a really nice person. They just don’t always feel like talking or participating in group activities.

When you don’t understand the needs of an introvert, they might become a bit agitated and can even come off as rude, but they just want you to know they need space at times and don’t always want to be around others.

8. Even though they enjoy their alone time, don’t forget that they love you.

It seems like introverts might be better off by themselves with all the space they need, doesn’t it? Well, not exactly. While they cherish their alone time, they still enjoy the company of others on days they’re energized.

If your partner says they want to relax by themselves, they aren’t saying they don’t love you anymore or don’t like being around you. Introverts just enjoy quiet time alone too. Space and time are the two qualities you need to accept of your introverted partner.

Writer Profile

Michelle Dreyer

Southern New Hampshire University

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