Love at Frat Sight
“He pledged to a community that takes a lot of time, which means maybe he’s good with long-term commitments (see what I did there?).”
By Mallory Arnold, Ohio University
They’re the boys daddy always warned you about.
They’re loud, rude and wear pastels. GASP. Okay Susie Stereotype sit down and eat your P’s and Q’s. What is it really like dating a boy in a fraternity? I’ll let you in on a secret—once you get past the pastels, it’s not that bad.
Urban Dictionary (the ever so reliable made-up-words bible) defines Frat Star as the following: One who epitomizes the fratty lifestyle.
What constitutes as a “fratty lifestyle”? I suppose if we played by the rules and read through the typical stereotypes, a fratty lifestyle would be anything but pleasant.
The first thought that comes to mind is drinking enough beer to fill a small swimming pool—or actually filling a small swimming pool with beer. The fratty lifestyle seems to include a fresh new girl every night and a chest tattoo reading, “Can’t tie me down, baby” so that said frat star doesn’t have to repeat it over and over again in the morning.
I’m not going to sit around ignorantly looking at the clouds in la-la land, because there are guys out there who are exactly like that. Are they in fraternities all of the time? No. If a cloud is shaped like a jerk, it’s a jerk. Whether or not he’s in a fraternity doesn’t change that.
So after you read your bedtime story of nightmares about Phi-Beta-Bad-Guy, it’s not like you’re rearin’ to go out and date one. The stigma that comes with being in Greek life doesn’t always paint a guy as hubby material. But it’s time you heard some things that go on behind-the-scenes while dating a “frat star.”
Time to open your non-judgmental listening ears, people!
You suddenly get an unlimited amount of Greek clothing. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing better than a super oversized t-shirt and if you say otherwise we can’t be friends.
Kidding. But really, when you date a “frat dude” suddenly he’s always offering jackets when it’s cold and t-shirts when a new order comes in. I’m a college girl—I’m poor. Any comfy shirts you offer me I will gladly accept.
Dating a guy involved in Greek life means you’ve got to be open to meeting new people. Period. If you’re a social turtle, you better wake up and stretch your skinny, wrinkly neck out once in a while to say hello to a new friend or two.
You’ll most likely end up hanging out in a fraternity house not after hours, but no, you won’t be forced to chug a beer upon crossing under the threshold. You’ll find you enjoy spending time there, because it allows you to see everything in a new light. Literally, you’re not looking around after being blinded with strobe lights flashing everywhere.
Instead, you get to see those scary “frat dudes” as who they really are. Just boys.
They’re playing video games, doing homework, goofing around or cleaning up around the house (Kitchen duty after lasagna night? Poor fellas.)
You have an escape from girl drama. As much as I absolutely despise girls who insist they’re just “one of the bros,” it is nice hanging out with a few guys now and then who don’t comment about Jenny’s weight gain or Molly’s cheating scandal. Sometimes it’s good being around people who don’t care about the latest drama-llama.
Just like any organization, it takes serious commitment to be involved in a group. He pledged to a community that takes a lot of time, which means maybe he’s good with long-term commitments (see what I did there?).
It can be frustrating at first when he has a mandatory meeting or a scheduled member activity, but it teaches you about patience. You can’t go through life snapping your fingers and expecting your man to be at your beck and call—unless you’re Beyonce.
Not only that, but he understands how hectic your life can be and doesn’t judge when you tear your hair out from being overstressed while wishing you were a simple, happy cat instead of a college student.
And just like he’s involved, it really gets you thrown into the full swing of activities and parties that come with his fraternity. Suddenly you’re signing up to volunteer for their annual marathon, or baking cookies for some mom’s weekend event, or buying your date for a whopping too-expensive-to-say-without-crying amount at their charity auction.
Not only that, but he understands the importance of supporting each other, which means you always have a number one fan on the sidelines in whatever you do.
Not only do you find yourself becoming involved, suddenly you’ve been promoted to head “mother match-maker,” with girls and boys crooning to you daily about yearning for a blind date. Like your playing some weird shapes and puzzles game, you match everyone you can up until there’s enough happy kisses and keg stands for everybody.
While you jot down your matchmaking abilities on your resume, it’s always nice having a significant other there with you to push through the horrors of all-nighters. 71 percent of Greeks graduate compared to the 50 percent non-Greeks, because—wait, fraternity guys study? GASP.
I’m not saying all guys that are involved in Greek life are automatically golden delicious, because there are definitely some bad apples. I’m just expressing my point of view from a girl whose currently dating a pretty neat guy involved in a frat. (Don’t tell him I said that.)
I’m not here to prove a point or pick a fight with Susie Stereotype because in all honesty I’d win. But it’s important not to look upon men in Greek life as big hair apes or stuck up mommy’s boys.
And by the way, I happen to love pastel, thank you very much.