Predictions for the New Commander-in-Chief

How long will it take for the UK to impose a travel ban on the president?

By Miguel Robles, University of Colorado Denver


If you’ve just woken up from a coma, or perhaps wandered out from under a rock, I’ve got some news for you: Donald Trump is now the 45th president of the United States.

Yes, the same Donald Trump who used to yell at people on TV all the time. The same Trump who has openly disparaged Mexicans, Muslims, women, the handicapped, POW’s and the Pope. The man who openly said, “How stupid are the people of Iowa?” then proceeded to win the state of Iowa in November.

The enigma of Trump’s rise to power has been strange to some, deeply distressing for many, and indeed empowering for others. The absolute lunacy of his campaign has taken a drastic shift to the dire reality of his presidency.

4 Headlines You Can Expect from the Trump Presidency

Image via Politico

Unrelenting attacks on the media. Cabinet appointees who seem to undermine the very agencies they serve. His alarming reliance on former “Breitbart” chairman Steve Bannon. Enacting a globally condemned Muslim ban (which has since been halted by U.S. District Judge James Robart, and upheld by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals). Tweeting like a thin-skinned teenager. They all make one crucial point: Trump (predictably) has no fucking idea what he’s doing.

Yet, in Trump’s mind, that might not seem as clear, which may of course be indicative of the larger issue. In his mind, he very well could view himself as the people’s champion, coming to power despite the interference of the conspiratorial, libelous mainstream media. He has promised to sweep away the “horrors” of the Obama administration by eradicating the dreadful crime gripping our streets and cleaning up the millions of Mexicans pouring over the borders. Trump’s deluded vision of our country and the growing bubble of a fact-free environment, or what I refer to as “Trumpland,” engineered his rise to power, and could provide a projection of our future.

We’ve witnessed the first couple weeks of the Trump administration, the question remains: what could happen in the next four years?

Here are a few projected headlines from the Trump presidency.

1. 12 of 53 New England Patriots Show up for White House Visit

March 2017

After winning arguably the best game in NFL history, the Patriots made the rounds to D.C. The only problem is most of them didn’t show up. Only twelve members of the team, including Tom Brady, head coach Bill Belichick and owner Robert Kraft, showed up for the Trump reception.

While there have been multiple instances of notable athletes snubbing the White House visit for political reasons, including Ozzie Guillen in 2005, Albert Pujols in 2012, Michael Jordan famously in 1991 and even Brady in 2013, the team-wide absence is unprecedented.

4 Headlines You Can Expect from the Trump Presidency

Image via CNN

Despite the nearly-empty reception, POTUS didn’t exactly see it that way. After the reception, President Trump tweeted:

“I met with the Patriots today. Massive success. It was huge. The fake news of CNN claims there wasn’t any people there. Pathetic.”

2. Sean Spicer Refuses to Answer Questions Until Melissa McCarthy Apologizes for Scathing “SNL” Portrayal

November 2017

Ever since Melissa McCarthy’s impression of Press Secretary Sean Spicer during the opening sketch back of “SNL” in February, McCarthy has frequently appeared on the show as a Spicer impersonator. Her routine centers on Spicer’s oft-belligerent behavior when handling the press, and his commitment to “alternative facts.”

Spicer hasn’t reacted kindly to the parody. After McCarthy’s fourth impression of him this past Saturday, he released a formal statement to the press.

4 Headlines You Can Expect from the Trump Presidency

McCarthy as Sean Spicer (Image via ABC)

“Until the relentless attacks from Melissa McCarthy and ‘SNL’ cease, which are continually perpetuated by the mainstream media, I cannot and will not answer any of your questions. The bit has shifted from a small joke to predatory and flat-out mean. You all here claim to be professionals, but spread unfunny garbage. You should be ashamed.”

His reaction mirrors President Trump’s reaction for months to Alec Baldwin’s portrayal of him on “SNL.” Baldwin, who has portrayed Trump multiple times on the show, beginning with the mock debate of Donald Trump (Baldwin) and Hillary Clinton (Kate McKinnon) last fall, has similarly been able to get under the skin of now-President Trump. Here are a few tweets in response to a parody television show from the leader of the free world.

20 Nov 2016:

“I watched parts of @nbcsnl Saturday Night Live last night. It is a totally one-sided, biased show—nothing funny at all. Equal time for us?”

3 Dec 2016:

“Just tried watching Saturday Night Live—unwatchable! Totally biased, not funny and the Baldwin impersonation just can’t get any worse. Sad”

15 Jan 2017:

@NBCNews is bad but Saturday Night Live is the worst of NBC. Not funny, cast is terrible, always a complete hit job. Really bad television!”

Will the two comedians apologize for the parody? Will the key White House staffer and leader of the free world overcome their insecurities and instead focus on their jobs? Only time will tell.

3. E.U. Follows UK’s Lead, Bans Trump from Borders

November 2018

After a combative and at times incoherent first two years in office for Trump, our goodwill across the world is rapidly disappearing.

Following a popular campaign to ban Trump from the UK, which resulted in an online petition with nearly 600,000 signatures, the British Parliament began debating the unimaginable prospect of banning the sitting president of the United States of America from their borders. The parliamentary debate got the ball rolling on a historical campaign, which by July 2017 resulted in the decision to indeed ban the president from entering the UK, in a decision read by the aging Queen herself.

4 Headlines You Can Expect from the Trump Presidency

Image via BBC

In a speech seen by millions, the Queen denounced the sitting president and forever banned him from entering the “hallowed earth of the United Kingdom.” She announced the UK could no longer stand in league with a man who spreads bigotry and hate speech throughout the world. In response, President Trump mentioned he was “relieved that I no longer have to step foot in that dump.”

Since then, Trump has done little to ameliorate his failing public image. Building the behemoth wall on the southern border, which has cost American tax payers billions; the Supreme Court’s vote in favor of the Muslim ban, after Trump’s pick for the vacant seat on the court became the tiebreaker vote in the decision, has resulted in former European allies avoiding associations with the controversial figurehead. Following Britain’s lead, popular campaigns to ban Trump have sprouted up throughout Europe.

After a heated debate, partner countries of the E.U. reached a unanimous decision last Saturday to ban Trump from their countries. German Chancellor Angela Merkel read a statement to the press where she said:

“Trump has turned his back on the message of the American forefathers by locking the doors to the poor, the homeless, the tired, the huddled masses. With this decision, we won’t let his xenophobic bigotry infect our nations, as we instead leave the doors open for all of those turned down at the gates of the United States.”

4. Trump to Step Down from Office, Citing Stresses of Job “Too Much to Handle”

March 2019

As bizarre his rise to the political scene was, so too was the now former President Trump’s exit. Entering the third year of his administration, Trump decided enough was enough, calling it quits in unprecedented fashion. He tweeted a statement:

“Unfortunately, I can no longer handle the great stresses of the job of the president. It’s too much to handle. What an incredible journey it’s been. I accomplished everything I set out to do. I took over from the Worst. President. Ever. I handled myself with the most grace and dignity of any president ever. I Made America Great Again!”

4 Headlines You Can Expect from the Trump Presidency

Image via Fox

Despite serving only a little more than half of his term, Trump’s administration may have done irrevocable damage to the American landscape. Globally condemned executive actions resulting in the construction of a southern border wall and the Muslim ban have rapidly dissolved many of America’s stronger alliances.

The man who was supposed to drain the swamp, instead let it flood, and having the richest cabinet and administration in U.S. history, ripe with CEO’s, Wall Street executives and big bankers, led to the dismantling of the many safeguards put into place after the banking crisis of 2008. Compounded with the mammoth costs of the wall and the Muslim ban, Trump’s private security costs and misappropriation of government funds have led to the largest recession since 2008.

Possibly the most worrying red flag is the drastic escalation of hate crimes since Trump’s election. The problem emerged immediately after the election, as 867 cases of hate crimes were reported within ten days of his election. Time and again, Trump’s xenophobic rhetoric has stoked the fires of bigoted movements, most notably the alt. right, who have shined in the spotlight in Trump’s administration. The reemergence of white supremacy has created a colossal divide that will take years to overcome.

As the country scrambles to pick up the rubble left from the Trump administration, while attempting to survive the last year-and-a-half of the newly-minted Pence administration, we must uncover how someone as hateful, incompetent and constitutionally un-American as Donald Trump could have been elected as the “leader of the free world.” Without a complete understanding on what the fuck happened in the crazy election two years ago, we may open the door for another neo-fascist leader in the future.