Ding dong! The “Las Culturistas” Culture Awards are coming! After taking fans on a three-episode-long journey to announce “The Top 200 Moments in Culture History” as well as a multi-episode countdown to Christmas titled “The 12 Days of Culture,” Bowen Yang (“Saturday Night Live,” “Nora From Queens”) and Matt Rogers (“Q-Force,” “Haute Dog”) have officially announced “the most ambitious event in ‘Las Cultch’ history.” Boasting 100 categories, the Culture Awards are bound to make an impact, putting the Oscars, Grammys and Golden Globes to shame.
Yang and Rogers revealed 73 of the categories back in July in an episode aptly titled “Mila & Natalie Announce the Las Culturistas Culture Awards Categories.” While there were plenty of new spins on familiar awards such as “Best Picture (Literal Picture),” “Best Movie We Did Not See” and “Artist of the Millenium,” the duo also introduced their own slew of original categories.
Some fans focus on niche references such as the “Lady Gaga Award for Being One Person in a Room Award” and the “Brenda Award For Name that No One Gets Named Now or Going Forward,” while others recognize the comedically generic “Most Iconic Building or Structure” or the “Best Animal in the Forest” (not to be confused with “Best Animal on the Farm” or “Best Animal in the Sea”). There’s also a plethora of categories surrounding food such as “Best Beverage” and “Best Thing to Order for the Table.”
There are also a few categories specifically about “Las Culturistas” such as “Worst Insult Toward Us” and “Best ‘I Don’t Think So Honey!’ of All Time” (a segment at the end of each show where Yang, Rogers and their guests take the time to rail against something in pop culture). The category “Best Tayla Swiff” references the podcast’s iconic episode “TAYLOR/TAYLA,” where they discussed different sides of the pop singer.
The final 27 categories were later announced in “Haus of Cultch: More Categories.” Notable categories include the “Jim and Pam Award for Best Chemistry,” “Tic Tac Toe Award for Best Simple Game” and “Best Song on Rent Soundtrack.”
In both of these episodes, Yang and Rogers asked readers (what both hosts call listeners of the podcast) to act as publicists for anyone they want to see nominated in the 100 categories, encouraging them to express their opinions on both Instagram and Twitter.
“This is a glimpse into how things work in the circuit,” said Rogers in the “Mila & Natalie” episode. “And if you’re silent, someone might not get an award.”
“And that this the worst thing that could possibly happen to someone in their life — to someone or some fish in the sea or some animal in the forest,” replied Yang.
“To go unrewarded their entire life? Fate worse than death.”
Readers heeded this warning, contributing their thoughts on social media. Some even took their new title of publicist so seriously that they dedicated entire Twitter threads to the matter, going through each category and suggesting nominees.
After these so-called publicists were given a few weeks to make their opinions heard, the long-awaited “The Las Culturistas Culture Awards Nominees Are…” episode was released in early September. This installment of “Las Culturistas” manifested as a parody of pompous award seasons traditions. Instead of the typical theme song, the show’s Hot Engineer Doug gave a brief overview about the Culture Awards, describing it as “an event thousands of years in the making,” and thanking publicists for their campaigns before introducing Yang and Rogers.
Dedicated to their bit, they nailed the cadence typically associated with the early morning announcement of Oscar nominations, forgoing their usual culture catch-up at the top of each episode as they read the nominees for all 100 categories. They kept this going throughout the entire podcast, stifling their laughter as they had to repeatedly quote the four-time nominated viral and controversial Wendy Williams “Death to All of Them” clip.
The unveiling of the nominees surely solidified the stiff competition within awards categories such as “Best Google Search,” pitting “sebastian stan butt,” “am i gay quiz” and “kelly clarkson album when” against each other. It’s hard to imagine choosing between Taylor Swift’s “Dress,” J. Lo’s famous green Versace gown and Princess Diana’s wedding dress (all nominated in the “Best Dress” category), but I trust that our hosts will not let readers down when it comes time to pick a winner.
Yang and Rogers are even put in contention in a few categories such as “Best Friend,” where they are up against Lisa Kudrow (who is in fact the best Friend; they are right) as well as “Best ‘I Don’t Think So Honey’ of All Time,” where they are up against popular guests from the show such as Joel Kim Booster and Aaron Jackson.
It’s clear that many publicists’ ideas were taken into consideration in the nominations such as Summer 2021 for “Best Jester Flop in the Town Square” and Lindsay Lohan’s “Rumors” music video for “The Christina Aguilera Award For Coming on this B—tch Mad as Hell.”
Readers have also been encouraged to continue campaigning for the nominees who they believe are deserving of a Culture Award, as their input will be considered as the final results are selected. I personally would like to take this opportunity to advocate for “The pop charts in 2010” to win the category of “Best Time” and my reasoning goes without saying.
While there is currently no set date for the “Las Culturistas” Culture Awards, fans can tune into the podcast every week to catch up with Yang and Rogers on all things pop culture. As readers wait in anticipation, they can find comfort in the fact that the Culture Awards will certainly be cathartic, bringing fun into the usually dull awards season. After all, when it comes to culture, our expert hosts never disappoint.