All right, we’ve all heard the term “Itty Bitty Titty Committee”––which for the sake of this article will be shortened to IBTC––and phrases like “real women have curves” used to disparage women who lack plentiful cleavage. It’s fairly common to see flat or small-chestedness portrayed as unattractive in forms of media, such as magazines, movies and even animation.
Of course, seeing this makes less buxom women feel unattractive, but as someone who has wasted too much time hating her B cups, let me just say that it doesn’t. Hating yourself makes you undesirable. From one IBTC member to another (or maybe other cup sizes—everyone’s welcome here), I feel compelled to say that you needn’t worry about your below average sized breasts. After all, good things come in small packages, am I right? Inside that package is an easier time finding clothes and various health benefits.
Small Boobs = Big Wardrobe
It’s much easier to find tops when you don’t have much to fit in them! Button-down tops seem to be bosomy women’s worst enemy, due to the buttons being too weak to contain all their boobaliciousness. Wearing the same top with a smaller pair means no worries at all; the buttons stay in place and fasten over the bust. Best part, the clothing options for the IBTC go far beyond button-up tops; less boobage means you can shop in the kid’s section. Wearing kid’s outfits is awesome because it makes you feel young again, and because I swear kids are getting more fashionable nowadays. Seriously, go to Target and you’ll see what I mean and how lucky the IBTC is since they can wear some of those clothes.
Not only can the IBTC wear button-down shirts and children’s clothing without risking a wardrobe malfunction, but we can also buy more bralettes and trust built-in shirt bras. You don’t need a fully padded over-the-shoulder boulder holder when all you’ve got are pebbles. In some cases, you might not need a bra at all.
It’s MUCH easier to go commando with a flat or tiny chest because bigger boobs means greater chance of nip-slipping and falling out of your top. With teacup bitties, you stay legal and the girls don’t go wild. Also, if shirts or dresses fit loosely around the chest, people can’t use you to determine the temperature (if you catch my drift).
Health Benefits of a Small Chest
If the dairy farm in your bra doesn’t cover much land, it could be a sign that you’re at a healthy weight. In addition to weight, having mini mammaries can also decrease your risk of breast cancer. The Huffington Post published an article with interviews from doctors stating that size may play a role in breast cancer. Reasons for the increased risk in more buxom women were because “larger breast size means more cells that could become cancerous.” Also, it’s easier to detect lumps in small boobs since not much can surround a growth.
As if the lower risk for cancer isn’t enough to make you appreciate having fewer curves, maybe having more exercise options will change your mind. Do you know how many women hate jogging because their huge cupcakes bounce everywhere and it hurts like the dickens? A lot. In fact, I’ve heard this complaint from people with average size boobs too, so it looks like the IBTC can outrun everybody. Well, maybe not, but they can comfortably perform other forms of high-impact cardio, such as jump rope. The lack of pain affects the IBTC’s daily life too, since our boobies weigh practically nothing.
If clothing and health benefits don’t make you rethink the way you see yourself, maybe years of experience will. My boobs stopped growing in sixth grade, and I spent much of junior high and high school wishing that I were bustier. Since I knew wishing would get me nowhere, I did lots of weird crap that would hopefully increase my cup size. I tried gaining weight, breast enhancement hypnosis, massages, taking saw palmetto (an herb used for breast and prostate enlargement), and putting this heated herbal bag over my chest.
Oftentimes I overheated that bag, which gave me burns at least once or twice. Guess what? My breasts stayed the same size, but that’s okay. To be honest, I don’t know if switching my tangerines to cantaloupes would have made me any happier; people of all different cup sizes and body types have insecurities no matter how attractive others may perceive them. What’s most important is that you’re happy with yourself.
So, am I telling you to ditch any plans for breast augmentation, quit wearing padded bras, or not to change your bust size? No, absolutely not. They’re your boobs, and it’s your appearance. All I’m saying is that if you want to make a dramatic change to your body, do it for you––not for society, not for the male (or female, however you swing) population, or for others to accept you. If you still want implants or naturally bigger boobs, no one can stop you. Just as much as there is nothing wrong with small jugs, there’s nothing wrong with big ones either.
The goal of this article is not to demonize well-endowed women––y’all look double D-lightful––it’s to help the IBTC not see their membership as an insult or curse, but as a fact and maybe even a blessing. Small knockers don’t stop you from being a knockout, and neither do big ones. In matters of changing or maintaining the way you look, just follow your heart, which happens to be in your left boob.