How to Stay Safe and Out of Trouble When You’re Lit

When you wanted to get fucked up without getting fucked over, you have to watch out for the cops and the creeps.

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When you wanted to get fucked up without getting fucked over, you have to watch out for the cops and the creeps.

Celebrating Intelligently

When you wanted to get fucked up without getting fucked over, you have to watch out for the cops and the creeps.

By Mary Kiser, Trident Technical College


College is a place where you can explore who you are while also having fun in the process.

Yes, you want to study and earn money, but, an occasional threesome or one-night stand is crucial too. However, when sex is in the air, alcohol and drugs might also be by the bedside. There’s nothing wrong with calming your nerves and heightening your senses, but you don’t want to catch a DUI, an STD or a case while doing so. You may just want to party mindlessly on the weekends (and the occasional hump day), but you need to be safe. Unfortunately, life’s not like the movie “Sausage Party”; it’s usually a lot more like the movie “Thirteen,” in which young girls get trapped in a cycle of drug abuse that leads to unsafe and unwarranted sex.

So, what’s the bottom line? Basically, your goal is to not hit rock bottom. So, whether you’re concerned about avoiding a black-out or a courtroom, here’s how to sidestep both.

1. Know the Company You Keep

At the age of twenty-one, two young men were on their way to a house party. One of them had been exchanging messages with a woman who invited him and his friend over to her house. The guys thought they were just meeting average chicks with one, common goal in mind—to party.

However, when they arrived, they were “pounced, bound and hauled into a bathroom. There, over the next forty hours, the attackers repeatedly tortured and sexually abused them, cutting them with knives and a chainsaw, dousing them in flammable liquids and even shooting one in his legs.” The pair thought that they were simply going to a normal house party. Yet, they were abused in such a way that made the “Saw” series look tame.

You can learn from their gruesome mistake without having to experience their suffering. Only go to a party if you know the area, guests and hosts. Parties are a dime a dozen in college, so leave the sketchy ones at the front door, because once you open that door, you never know what’s on the other side, until it’s too late.

2. Always Get Your Own Drink

Even if your girlfriend offers to get you a can of Budweiser from the cooler, always get your own drink. Even if your cute crush is at the party’s makeshift bar and offers you a special cocktail (just for you!), politely decline. Your intentions may simply include getting a mild buzz, but the cute guy (or girl) could potentially have a much darker end game in mind.

Unless you fancy a complete loss of consciousness, then ALWAYS make your own drinks; try to monitor how much you drink, too. Rapists will prey on anybody, and they have an ability to pick out the most vulnerable person from the group. So, while you may think that you’re at a party with fifty of your closest friends, you must also remember that wolves can be disguised in sheep’s clothing. If you don’t keep that thought in mind, your morning will bring you headaches bigger than your hangover.

Photo via prizenicom.ru

Take, for example, the story of University of Virginia student Haley Lind, who woke up in a strange bathroom and later found herself lying in a stranger’s bed. With foliage in her hair and her body reeking of piss, she sent a text to her friend, thinking that she had just been raped. However, her alleged rapist claimed that she was as passionate about their affair as he was. In breaking the story, the “Washington Post” titled the dilemma: “He said it was consensual. She said she blacked out. U-Va. had to decide: Was it assault?”

The case is both unique and disturbing, but what’s most important is that college students can learn from Lind’s tragedy. Even though beer pong sounds like fun, drinks can always be spiked, so drink with caution.

3. Keep the Police in Your Pocket

The Waze app has a ton of different uses; whether you’re trying to locate your favorite gas station or a friend’s house, Waze should be inside of your phone. What makes Waze superior to Google Maps lies within its ability to track police. Yes, you read that correctly. This technology has cops worried and some law enforcement agencies have even tried to have the feature removed.  According to the “New York Post, “A sheriffs’ organization openly complained that the app not only puts officers’ lives at risk, it also interferes with the ability to write speeding tickets.”

Even though the men and women in blue were complaining about Waze’s avant-garde approach, their protest went unheard and the app still allows users to track police in their area. Waze promises to continue providing community reported alerts, including accidents, hazards, police traps, road closures and more. While nobody can guarantee that cops won’t break up a house party, you can at least check Waze at a traffic light or stop sign. If you know you have weed in your glove compartment or a few drunk friends in the back, then a quick peek will only work in your favor; don’t let the cops kill your vibe.

Photo via The University of Texas at Austin

The next time you’re out with your friends at a party, here are a few more tips to keep in mind: travel in a group, have mace or pepper spray on hand, have 911 on speed dial, be sure to walk in well-lit areas and have safe transportation prepared before you even go out.

You might feel as if you’re invincible, but don’t let your pride overshadow your security. Life’s too full of evil to not be as cautious as possible. So, get higher and drunker than the god Bacchus himself, because you deserve to play, but please, be safe.

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