Tinder and College Don’t Mix
Chances are, even if you’re just using it for hook-ups, you’re still using it wrong.
By Zephanie Battle, Texas State University
Why is Tinder so popular?
It matches local singles with other local singles. It even matches you with non-local singles, and even non-local non-singles. As a student you’re constantly thinking about your future, so meeting someone in college seems like the way to go.
As an introvert, I only downloaded the app to see who thought I was cute enough to swipe right on. Realistically, I would never think to match with some random guy and actually hang out with him. Unrealistically, he could potentially be my soulmate and the future father of my kids.
Here are three reasons why, as a college student, you’re less likely than a “real adult” to find a long-term relationship using Tinder.
1. You Have No Time
As a college student, especially if you’re a freshman, are you really thinking about who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with? I barely know if I really like the major I picked, let alone the plans that are written in stone for the rest of my life.
As I’m in my first year of college, of course I’m always checking for new opportunities to meet somebody that could potentially be husband material. Chances are, you’re still in that high school puppy love state of mind where a simple kiss makes you “official.” In my opinion, as a growing young adult, you should want more than a simple kiss. Many students are already picking out their future kids’ names, so you should be looking for someone who is interested in more than just a long-term boyfriend/girlfriend.
Meaningful relationships don’t start with an accidental swipe right. Instead, you want a more “How I Met Your Mother” type of story to tell your future kids, one in which you searched far and wide for your soulmate, and it took more than a couple of quick dates. I’m sure that person is not hiding behind a couple of cute selfies and a sketchy bio, so why waste your time?
Also, where are you even going to find the time when you have three tests to study for, a paper to write and you’re already behind on the new season of “AHS”? Your priorities are in the wrong order. Stay in school.
2. They’re Not Into You for the Right Reasons
Nowadays, to the opposite sex, you’re only as dateable as your cutest selfie (specifically the one with the puppy filter). As I said before, the only reason I downloaded the app was to see who thought I was cute enough to swipe right on. In theory, Tinder not only connects you with local singles, it gives you easy access to deny (swipe left) or accept (swipe right or SUPER LIKE) the people you would rather not talk to in real life because you don’t have the same lighting you did when you took the selfie.
When people hide behind filters, it gives them a sense of confidence that only exists on social media.
Most people know that they don’t look good without them, so when there is someone who actually thinks that you’re cute, you can’t help but be surprised. If you’re anything like me, you’re probably not really interested in that cute person that you got matched with. You’re just glad to know that there’s a person out there that doesn’t think you’re an ugly duckling. Chances are they’re really not interested in you, either.
As an adult, you shouldn’t be looking to play a game of “who’s behind the mask.” Anyone who is worth having will present themselves to you in a proper way and not have to hide behind anything. In actuality, most people you match with on Tinder will not even resemble what you want in the opposite sex, so regardless of how cute a person may be, you may just not be into them.
3. You’re Using It Wrong
Do you think that guy is out of your league? Is that girl just too cute to talk to in person? In certain cases, if both of you swipe right on each other, you’re just so excited that there’s somebody in the world who’s interested in you, that you just take the W and walk away. You’re not using Tinder to find out who’s single; you’re using the app as an ego booster!
Coming straight out of high school as a college freshman, or even if you’re still figuring yourself out as an upperclassman, you don’t really know what’s its like to be with a person who has their own agenda. In high school, you’d have a lot of the same classes with your bae, so you would basically know everything they did by the end of the day.
In college, nine times out of ten you two will have two completely different majors, with completely different schedules. Nothing is convenient anymore, so you start to live separate lives, as if you were both adults working and living full-time. Adults who use Tinder have this sort of lifestyle, but are not as prone to feel the need to boost up their confidence with how many swipes to the right they can get.