Only in America will a private plane owner ram his plane into an office building in protest of capitalism.
I'm obviously talking about Joe Stack, a retired engineer who kept Austin weird last Thursday by flying his single engine plane into the Echelon building. Turns out his 200 mph adventure into the flaming wall of eternal infamy was to make sure that people know corruption exists in America. He was gracious enough to leave behind a 6 page memoir of super duper original complaints about Â "the man" who held him down and made his life horrible. God, living in America is Hard.
Thanks for starting the revolution Joe. It was completely worth killing the vietnam veteran and burning up an office building. By the time we have defeated Barack Obama and his evil reign of tyranny you will Â be praised as a martyr by all Americans for your sacrifice.
Sadly, the ideals above are gaining popular support from Â extremely bored idiots across the country because of Joe's 6 page memoir. I read this 6 page memoir which contains the dumbest, whiniest, and least worth killing people over "est" things i've ever read. On display for your comedic entertainment are 3 of Joe Stacks dumbest quotes, which are really just a bunch of things that we already know, but don't fly our private airplanes into buildings over.
"Sadly, starting at young ages we in this country have been brainwashed to believe that, in return for our dedication and service, our government stands for justice for all."
Actually Joe, when I was young i was taught that our justice system stands for justice for all. If you would have kept paying attention, you would have learned that the justice system only represents one third of our government. The other two thirds, (executive, and legislative) are based on other things. For instance "the pursuit of happiness", which means that nobody gets a guarantee of anything. You just have to keep busting your ass and see what happens. Oh and if you fail, keep your chin up and stop blaming other people. Growing up is more about the defeats than victories. If you don't ever learn to get back on the horse, you will just end up a selfish asshole who burnt down a house that his widowed wife and fatherless daughter were still planning on living in after you kill yourself by flying into an IRS building. Oh yea...
"I can say with a great degree of certainty that in my lifetime there has never been a politician cast a vote with the likes of me or my interests in mind"
Thats because we live in a Democracy... Hitler. According to the census bureau, there are 308, 738, 029 people in America. Which means that there are 308,738,028 people here who aren't Joe Stack. All of those individual opinions are represented under one roof in washington D.C. by 435 people plus the president. Whining about a politicians ignorance toward you is like whining because Beyonce didn't read your fan mail. It was a waste of time to begin with.
"I live in a country whose ideal system is based on a total and complete lie. It also made me realize, not only how naive I had been, but also the incredible stupidity of the American Public; that they hook, buy, hook, line, and sinker the crap about their freedom... and that they continue to do so in the face of overwhelming evidence"
If the things Joey was trying to teach me were that my government lies, and that people are stupid, I haven't learned anything. People are going to be stupid no matter what, and people in power are going to exploit stupid people for more power. Because they are American you ask? NO because they are Human beings. Stupidity isn't uniquely American, we are just more proud of it without realizing it. The cool part about America is, that if you are smart enough to realize this at a young age, you can be on the side who exploit people without a set caste system to tell you who to be.
Does it always work like that? No, I'll admit that nepotism and networking can often count for much more than individual merit. So, if you aren't born into riches, network I guess. Tends to work for a lot of Americans with a good attitude every day. They may not have a shot at becoming president, but they will for sure come a lot closer than if they tried to network outside of the family in Iran.
After all of his ranting against bureaucracy, Joey makes a quick plug for communism which would totally make a government less corrupt (just fyi), and signs his letter "Joe Stack (1956-2010)."
To Joe Stack, we were all idiots. To all of us idiots, Joe Stack was the man who flew his plane into a building because America was too hard to live in. If only we were all as intelligent.