Hash tag. Trending. At mention. Retweet. Unfollow. Favorite. DM. Twitter is essentially a language in and of itself. Maybe even a culture in and of itself. And in that culture, there are certain stereotypes, people, and ways of tweeting (or lifestyles, if you will). It's kind of like high school...Â You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, preps, J.V. jocks, Asian nerds, Cool Asians, Varsity jocks Unfriendly black hotties, etc., #meangirls. Anyways, let's get to business and find out what kind of tweeter you are.
You know the type.. said person has an account, never tweets, may or may not have a profile picutre, BUT ACTIVELY FOLLOWS YOUR EVERY MOVE. You'll be having a casual conversation with this person, then all of a sudden they'll come out with, "Oh yeah, I saw that tweet," and you're like UM WAIT WHAT? YOU HAVE A TWITTER??? They like to be in the know with the hip and happening scene, but just flat out have nothing to offer the world in return. But you know what? That is just fine. They were probably forced against their will to get a Twitter anyway, either by means of a class requirement, or a nagging friend. Maybe they're just private. Maybe they're not witty. Nothing's worse than a non-funny person tweeting things they think are funny, ammiriigghhtt??
I haaaate 8 ams eefff. | Â i have a 2000 word essay due tonight and I haven't even started #great #procrastinator | They got my Starbucks drink wrong COOL | This week is going to suuuuuuck | Going out on a wednesday was a BAD decision | I'm OVER class right now... | I feel fat today ugghh| traffic<<<<< |
Womp womp wommmppp... every party there's a pooper. This person HAS to tweet when something goes wrong in their life. I mean, we are all guilty of it every now and then--what else are you going to do when your flight is delayed 3 hours?? But this type of Tweeter just takes it to a new level of negative. #UNFOLLOW
How often does this person tweet you ask? Every 5 seconds. Their profile is something to the effect of: "Loving today's weather! | It's a (insert band here) kind of day | I'm sooo hungry | My head hurts | Making a grocery run! | I haate Walmart | Omg someone is letting their child walk around without shoes | uughhh so tired now | NEED FOOD | Yum I love pop tarts | full :) | EF HOMEWORK | Omg Gossip Girl is on! Yes please:) | Goodbye productivity... |
Want to know what this person is doing, where they are, or what they are thinking at any given time? JUST CHECK YOUR NEWSFEED AND ENJOY THE LATEST 30 UPDATES.
UGH you're SO fake! |Sucks to be you!! :) |Â Can you GO AWAY??! THANKS!! | Your hair looks stupid. | SLUT |Oh, you're cool!!! not.. | GET OUT OF MY WAY PEDESTRIANS, I WILL RUN OVER YOU | You are wayyyy to drunk to be here girrlll Â | If you only knew how much you meant to me.... | Dreamt of you again <3 | I'm falling for you ;) |
This person holds in their emotions and bursts with tweets that they don't quite have the guts to say out loud and/or to someone's face. And hold on to the last 3 tweet examples because those bring me to the annoying girlfriend tweeter.
BABE JUST CAME OVER!!!!! :) | I miss him Â already :( | "They say we couldn't do it, but just look at us now" <3 :) | Nothing like when he kisses me on the cheek!:) | He is so funny :) | (insert name here) just bought me dinner! He's the best:) | I seriously have the best boyfriend ever | missing him... | (insert instagram collage here) | Boyfriend is studying while I hang out in his room :) | Lover and I are renting a movie #myturntopick:) | his touch:) >>>>>> |
YOU GET THE IDEA. THEY ARE HAPPY AND IN LOVE AND CONSTANTLY REMIND YOU THAT YOU ARE SINGLE, ALONE, AND HUNGOVER FROM LAST NIGHT ON A WEDNESDAY.
This person lives on Pinterest. They like to visit the quotes category. Then they get their copy/paste on. Quotes by Marilyn Monroe, Aristotle, C.S. Lewis, Carrie Bradshaw, and DRAKE (which is another rant of mine--all these pictures of him with uncannily insightful lyrics--did he write those??? what's going on??? how/why/who/wait-WHAT?! I'd like to see him and M-Twain in a quote-off). Anyways... this tweeter copy pastes her way through life (er-tweets, same thing) almost always accompanied by the ever famous less than three. <3. Maybe even an edited picture of her face thrown in the mix. Quotes + Selfies + <3 = Social Media.
Do any of these sound familiar? Thoughts feelings questions holla atcha gurl @Sassy_Neal