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Posted by admin on Thursday, April 26, 2012

You know you miss her

I know we've all been mourning the crash and burn of Rebecca Black, whose one-hit wonder/horror Friday embarrassingly served as our weekend anthem for a solid 2 weeks. (Which is roughly 13 days longer than the average YouTube sensation lasts--touche.)

BUT LUCKILY there's a whole new batch of so-unbelievably-terrible-they're-actually-amazing ...ya know, as a case study...videos. So, without further ado ( a do? adieu? MON DIEU!), here's a countdown of the three best/worst videos that kind of make me want to throw up in my mouth.

Or dance. One or the other.

 

NUMBER 3: 

Carly Rae Jepsen-Call Me Maybe

 

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWNaR-rxAic&ob=av2n[/youtube]

I'm not going to even act like I don't enjoy this video. It's at the top of the countdown (i.e. not winning the award for the worst of the worst) for a few reasons:

1. It looks semi-professional. Or at least like it wasn't shot with an iPhone.

2. It's actuallllly catchy as hell and however synthesized or whatever (insert fantasyland terminology here) her voice may be, I actually prefer it to the sound of leaf blowers..which I can't say for stars of the other two videos.

3. THE SHIRTLESS GUY. Complete with a tattooed upper body that resulted in me wiping drool (like...a LOT of drool) off my keyboard. Until he ends up being gay at the end. Because his sexual orientation was the ONLY thing standing between the two of us and everlasting love, naturally.

Post "sky is the limit" chest tat removal, obv.

Number 2:

Hot Problems-Double Take

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__HeE6NWmDE[/youtube]

"Hot girls, we have problems too...we're just like you, except we're hot..."

OMGGGGGGGG YOU'RE SO RELATABLE. God, it's times like these, when I'm questioning my purpose in life and having a moment of self doubt, that hearing two 14-year-olds "sing" (it's in quotes because I don't think I can justify whiny talking-to-a-tune as singing) about how they, too, are having just--like--a totallllly difficult time in life, that I just feel TOTEZ relieved that I'm not alone.

Guys call them stuck up! Girls think they're conceited! Life is hard, babes, I know. Maybe I'd feel sorry for you if this video didn't blow so bad. xoxo

Number 1:

3 Second Rule--Lisa Gail Aldred

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57Sb14dyaUc[/youtube]

Oh...my....God. Perfection.

This video has every element (besides, ya know, talent) a successful video should have:

-(Upper) middle-age, bleach blonde woman wearing a frightening amount of turquoise jewelry? CHECK.

-Awkward assortment of line-dancing cowboys--IN A CLASSROOM. Check.

No, really, that's all you need. Low budget, high satisfaction. Enjoy.

(Disclaimer: I'm listening to "3 second rule" for the 30th...ish...time purrrrrely for research purposes. And because I keep thinking it'll get less shitty...I'm wrong.)

 

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