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People's Choice Awards 2012 Winners!

Posted by admin on Friday, January 13, 2012

You know how they say "If you don't vote, you can't complain"? Wellll I didn't vote in the 2012 People's Choice Awards.

Or, in all actuality, watch it at all.

Well, this is self-explanatory

But I did...ya know, a few days after the fact...check out the 2012 Winner's List. (Didn't want to seem too eager, ya dig?) And brace yourselves, because I've got a lot to complain about:

1. WTF KATY PERRY?!

I know I do seem to write about her quite a bit (i.e. the breaking news of her divorce and my fondness for blasting her music on replay). But...well, I lied. It's called creative license. In all actuality, I'm soooo BOTHERED that she managed to take home not only Favorite Guest Star for her role on How I met your Mother but also Favorite Tour Headliner, Favorite Music Video ("Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)") AND Favorite Female Artist.

Do I just not get it? I mean, yeah, I guess she has a sticky-sweet pop icon vibe about her that contrasts nicely with her apparent affinity for kissing girls buttttt that role is totez overplayed. Britney was topping charts and lockin' lips with ladies (like Madonna) years ago. Meanwhile the Beach Boys coined the fondness for golden state females with the o.g. California Girls anthem decades before Katy and Snoop got all krunk with it, and the only Friday Night song I'm interested in listening to is Rebecca Black's.

Also Katy, you look too much like Zooey Deschanel. Find your own shtick honey.

2. Eminem still exists?!

The category of favorite hip-hop artist was snagged by good ol' Eminem..

Wait, he's still doing shit? Blame my recent BEST PURCHASE EVER,  satellite radio, but honestly I'm so outta the loop with what music Marshall Mathers has been makin' as of late. Has he even put anything out since "Love the way you lie"? (A song which, post Chris Brown incident, I'm still shocked Rihanna had a hand in.)

I mean, I'm the first to admit that when it comes to hip hop I'm probably more out of the loop than like...my mom...but personally my vote for best hip-hop artist would absolutely have been the genius(es?)  behind "Wobble"--V.I.C. This is primarily because I like any song (especially one that goes "'ey big girl, make 'em back it up")  that results in a line dance with choreographed dance moves. Anything to spare the world from my attempts at droppin' it like it's hot.

Because that shit's lukewarm at best.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE_64SdD27w[/youtube]

3. Really...Morgan Freeman?!

I'm just kidding. The people have spoken and declared Morgan Freeman "Favorite Movie Icon" and, well, I couldn't agree more. I mean the man not only has played God (a pretty prestigious role, I suppose) buttt he narrates movies about PENGUINS. I also had a bus driver that looked suspiciously like Morgan Freeman, which would also have garnered him a win in "Best Public Transportation Provider"...but we won't get into that. Cheers for not screwing up one category, general public.

4. Lady Ga-- shit, I can't even say it

"Favorite Album of the Year" went to the Gaga for Born this Way. This is ridiculous for a myriad of reasons. I would've almost understood Justin Bieber taking first in this category--simply because tween girls don't have much else to do besides braid each other's hair and do shit like vote for the People's Choice Awards. Or maybe  they're preoccupied with the Teen Choice Awards or whatever blimp thing Nickelodeon (used to?) give out before sliming celebrities. Who knows.

Anyways, I'm annoyed but not shocked. Again, this is the same group of people who are to blame for Katy Perry's awards.

5. American Idol (Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth)

By my estimation, this show is roughly in its 500th season, making it essentially the Land Before Time of television programming. Except instead of Little Foot, it's Ryan Seacrest. Who frankly is waaaay less adorable.

This took the title for "Favorite TV Competition Show" for reasons unbeknownst to me. Primarily because maybe one out of the 33 or whatever winners--the so-called American Idols--has actualllly become--and remained--famous.

And really, that's only if you count Kelly Clarkson's Camry commercial.

 

So excuse the bitch sesh but I'm just a little shocked at our nation's bad judgment.

Hopefully I won't be as disappointed next year. Or, ya know, in November.

 

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