What's an Oscar? Who won what? Who cares, WHAT'D THEY WEAR??????????
I think that was about the gist of America's thought process Sunday night. No one reallyÂ watches awards season for awards.. it's all about the fashion! So let's recap the good, the bad, and the pancake batter.
Ahh, Gwen. It is a rare day when one can mosey about public venues in super-hero wear, without being ridiculed by archenemies or Joan Rivers. I think it is safe to say that unless Tom Ford and G-Pal are the forces behind the cape, then it won't work. But alas, they are and it does. As I recall, Kelly Osbourne said something to the effect of, "I've been trying to wear a cape on the red carpet for years!" Um, no Kelly, why are you even on fashion police? Your hair is purple. You're not Katy Perry. *swings arm, snaps finger*
Pixie hair Michelle Williams herself wearing Luis Vuitton. The world was up in a frenzy yesterday over exactly what color the dress was. I think people talked more about the color of this freaking dress more than any presidential election in the history of America. From cornea-searing to Elmo-got-it-on-with-a-poppy hue, no one can agree on one single color. Allow me to put an end to this calamity. THE DRESS IS RED. CAN WE MOVE ON NOW. FREAKING RED. OKAY??? LET'S GO BACK TO TALKING ABOUT ANGELINA'S RIGHT LEG. It was later confirmed that LV called this color "burnt orange." So everyone can stop hyperventilating now.
Wait, where is Brad? I don't think I have ever seen a picture of her without him and an elementary school of children. Anyways, here we have our favorite girl to hate, Angelina Jolie in aÂ velvet Atelier Versace gown. I mean, there is nothing to say here. She is so stunning it disgusts me. Does she not age? Did she scatter seven horcruxes about the world so that she'd live forever and look young and perfect while doing it? #harrypotter. Well whatever she is eating, or lack thereof, it's working. And just in case you've lived in a cave with the Geico men for the past 24 hours, then you know that her right leg has its own twitter page. Why aren't my legs so tech-savvy??? @angiesrightleg
I'm Lebanese for Emma Stone--she can do no wrong. She wore a gown by Giambattista Valli couture (say that 5 times fast--or one time fast).Â Now, the E! fashion police have their panties in a twist about this dress because it is so "controversial." YOU KIDDIN' ME???? No, fashion police, homosexual marriage is controversial, trannies are controversial, THIS DRESS IS NOT A BIG DEAL. Who cares if Nicole Kidman wore a similar concoction years earlier? People are constantly wearing the same get up as I am (norts and XL tees) and it never makes the news! So let's just all simmer down and go back to talking about Angie's right leg.
First of all..... Who the ef is this??????? Second of all, the dress is Elie Saab, and Saab is God, and that is all that matters. Mint is my favorite color this season, so you go random celebrity who nobody knows.
Kristin KILLED IT. Giuiliana Rancic said that her hair was "too casual" for the Oscars. I say, B!TCH PLEASE. It's Kristin freaking Wiig. Her hair fits her laid back personality, her dress matches the occasion. Also, kudos to her for rocking the dark nail with the light dress. She is hilarious, she is hot, she needs to be president of our nation.
Last but not least, Borat dumped "ashes" on Burberry-clothed Ryan Seacrest. But the best part was when huge body guards came and dragged the odd bearded man off the carpet. It was hilarious. My only concern is what happened to the mail order Afghanistan brides.