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Posted by admin on Thursday, June 7, 2012

They arrrre pretty pretty

If ever there was ever a time to party in the USA, well...it's this.

Our girl, Miley, (I say like i have any kind of personal connection with the girl--I don't) is ENGAGED to her personal piece of Australian man candy, actor Liam Hemsworth.

(And--holy shit--do yourself a favor and go Google image homeboy immediately. Beautiful.)

Apparently homeboy popped the Q to the 19-year-old former-Hannah-Montana, salvia-smoking, penis-cake-licking actress/pop star (whew) with a BOMB-ASS diamond--3.5 carats to be exact. NBD.

But as a totally unseasoned, inexperienced and ergo not-quite-credible relationship expert, can I just say that this might be a little early in the game for the two lovebirds to break out the rings and get their 'til-death-do-us-part on? I could understand the appeal if, say, Miley was pulling a Jonas...or a J. Simpson...or ya know, Tebow, and busting out the religion to pledge her virginity  until marriage.

Because if the whole holy matrimony thing is their ultimate cockblock, for God's sake, I'd understand Liam getting down on one knee. (Primarily so Miley will get down on hers. Too much? Just kidding.) But I'm pretty sure that, though her best friend Leslie says "oh she's just being Miley," she never pledged pop star purity a la many of her saccharine sweet counterparts. Suck it, Disney.

Anyways, that said, I hope homegirl's marriage works out. I mean, the couple met on the set of The Last Song (which...I swear...I, uhhh, never saw?), so how could they NOT have a happy ever after?! (Disregard the fact that The Notebook was roughly 10 times better--which doesn't say much--and still its stars couldn't manage to make it work.)

Get it girrrrrl

Whatever--there's hope. After all, I was recently informed via E! News that all three of the Hanson brothers (ignore if you were born after like 1990) are still married. And if as teenagers the entire trio managed to mmm-bop their way into marital bliss, who am I to say it's impossible?

So Liam...in the words of your future father-in-law...don't break homegirl's achey breakey heart.

'Cause Billie Ray seems like one crazy motherf%&$*#.

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