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Posted by admin on Monday, September 13, 2010

Toshia C. Humphies, M.Ed.

There are a few things I need to get off my chest…so WARNING: The faint of heart and those who cannot handle honest expressions of human emotion (i.e., anger) please, be advised; this blog does contain explicit language, graphic displays of emotion and some nudity. *ok, no nudity.

I HAVE HAD IT with DOUCHEBAGS, who create a TON of drama in their own lives and the lives of others…cheating, lying, manipulating, refusing accountability, communication or closure…using women for sex, money, power, ego boosters, etc., then discarding them, as though they were miniscule candy wrappers or other disposable items…only to label the women upon which they’ve inflicted all this unnecessary pain…as “crazy†or “psychoâ€.  Seriously??!! It occurs to me it is simply a convenient label easily picked out of a large hat full of possible ways to shut a woman down, when she finally calls you out on your bullshit…and it’s one which society has given them, inadvertently, through movies and television..where certain situations depict a jilted woman with serious mental illness acting out in response to the pain…but through extreme, inappropriate means due to her mental illness…as a result, these men seem to believe this is the one label we fear most, because WHAT WOMAN wants to be viewed by society or the community of mutual friends as Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction? Well, let me tell you something, men of the world, (those, uneducated, without access to or knowledge of the DSMIV) *and for those good guys out there…tell your not-so-good brothers what you learn and read here*…DON’T START NO SHIT, WON’T BE NO SHIT!!! Sorry to get all gangsta on you…but sometimes I just need to be real…and gangster rap is about as real as you can get. Truthfully, it baffles me, how men…or anyone for that matter…can pull all the crazy stunts that cheating entails…like juggling two or three people at a time…lying, repeatedly, daily..to most everyone..about most everything…manipulating…scheming, plotting, planning…calculating and premeditating rendezvous after rendezvous…telling each person exactly what they want to hear…along with their friends and whomever else is close to them…keeping tidbits of information for manipulative use and personal gain…playing serious headgames, denying accusations, suspicion and intuitive assumptions…using those accusations, suspcions and intuitive assumptions as an opportunity to blame and further manipulate, as well as victimize and create an opportunity for another rendezvous…conjuring up story after story to explain unanswered texts and/or calls…late arrivals and/or no-shows…cancelled plans and broken promises…telling just enough “truth†to make themselves seem honest and trustworthy…twisting and turning words, distorting reality and fucking with the heads of people, who give over their hearts and give of their time and energy, love and compassion…only to find another girl’s car parked in their fucking parking lot…and a half-naked girl hoppin’ up behind him when he answers the fucking door…looking just as fucking dumb-founded as everyone else. THEN…THEN…when the fucking gloves come off…and it’s time to tell you how it was, what it is, and how it shall be…you don’t want to hear it..because it makes you feel like the sorry, lying sack of shit you are…and it fucks up your game…makes you feel worthless and low…reminds you why you use women in the first place…to fill up that empty void of a shell called skin you walk around in, daily…and that skin starts to fucking crawl..and you want to slither out of it…but you cant…and you’re cornered…and the only fucking option is to face yourself…face the truth…and take responsibility for your actions...be a decent fucking human being and be accountable…but you don’t have the gutts, so…instead…you reach for that hat of yours; the one where you stash all those possible ways to shut a woman down, once she finally catches you in the act and/or calls your ass out, and because this shit is in your face, and you have no fucking way out (no lie nor manipulation can work here) you pull out the big one: “PSYCHOâ€

You call US psycho…after ALL that…you label US crazy!! You know, with as many lying, cheating, manipulating fucking men as there are in this fucking world, you’re all damn lucky we’re NOT fucking psycho, because if indeed every woman you’ve ever jilted, who’d had a harsh word to say about it was ACTUALLY fucking PSYCHO, well…there would be a sudden spike in the male death toll, and a possible rise in the boiling of bunnies. It’s truly frustrating to me that you guys don’t see that shit coming. What’s a girl, or anyone for that matter, supposed to do when you pull shit like that? Are we to walk up on that, and say “oh, excuse me. I didn’t know you were busy. Please, go back to whatever, or whomever, you were doing†?? What’s even MORE frustrating; how you guys react when your girl is with another guy…or even at the thought of it. The fact of the matter is…NO ONE LIKES TO BE HURT, especially when the pain is inflicted so deliberately and/or carelessly. There are consequences to deliberately hurting people, and guys…when you do any or all of the shit i listed above…yes. That is deliberate, so don’t use that fucking lame-ass response, “i didn’t mean to hurt you.†We’ve all heard it, and it’s stupid and insulting everytime. When you stick your dick in another girl’s va-jay-jay, while in a relationship with someone else, you’re deliberately hurting BOTH girls...or all…depending on just how many you’re juggling. Guys...again...don’t say, “but we werent in a relationship…I was just fucking her…just because SHE thought we were in a relationship…doesn’t mean we were…â€Â  BULLSHIT! Do you know how to use your words?  If you’re not in a relationship, and you do not wish to be, and you plan to fuck other women, and you do not want to be exclusive…then, you need to say ALL that, BEFORE you stick your dick in. You need to make that clear to each and every girl you sleep with, and if it costs you a roll in the hay…well...buy some fucking lotion and a dvd, and get over it.  As for the cheating; well, I don’t know how you are supposed to look at your girlfriend and tell her you want to sleep with other girls…and her, at the same time. I don’t know.  Give it a shot.  Maybe she’s into open relationships.  If so, killer! That’s awesome.  However, MY advice would be DONT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! What are you? 12? Do you need a girlfriend so you can feel secure, worthwhile, successful or something? If you want to sleep around, then... sleep around. Play the field, but don’t do that shit behind someone’s back. As for the sleeping around, there ARE girls, who can handle one-night-stands. I’m not one of them, but as a result i don’t have them. I’m wise enough to know what those look like from start to finish, so i stay away. BUT, even if you meet a girl who’s down, don’t take an opportunity to divide and conquer! Save that bullshit for the boardroom.  There is no need to try to make a girl love you, just to see if you can, only to break her heart, because you never actually cared.  Be honest about what you want and what you will or will not do. Don’t say you’ll call her, when you have no intentions to do so.  Don’t call her, for a while, just to be “politeâ€â€¦then, drop out, and get frustrated with her, for texting or calling to see if you’re ok...cuz you just dropped out. Don’t turn to your friends and arrogantly say “God…can’t she take a fucking hint??â€Â  GOD!!! CAN’T YOU GROW A FUCKING PAIR?!? TELL THE TRUTH!!! We’re big girls. We won’t break, and we respect and admire honesty, communication and careful confrontation.  You are not doing yourselves nor us any favors by sugar-coating, avoiding and/or lying about reality.  If, in fact, you DO all that and then some, including, but not limited to, all that i listed above, DON'T be surprised if she blows up on you. It’s called cause and effect! Check into it. Psycho would be reacting to a relationship that never actually existed, as in; you and I are complete strangers, and I’m outside your house with binoculars, and I’m dreaming up shit that never happens and you see me outside your house and call the cops and, as they arrest me, I scream out obscenities and spit at your face! THAT’s psycho. Psycho would also be if you DID date me, and you DID jilt me, and i attempted to kill your wife/girlfriend/lover, and/or break into your house and boil your pet bunny, in a pot, on your kitchen stove. THAT’s psycho. Psycho IS NOT verbally repremanding you, crying, yelling, screaming, lecturing, possibly throwing a picture of you/us, an engagement ring, a key to your house, and/or any other meaningful item, on the ground or toward you.  Also, if you don’t allow a face-to-face (a phone call or any explanation or closure), well…expect that shit to last longer and come in all shapes and sizes, and NONE of that is nor EVER will be crazy or psycho.  It’s a normal reaction to some fucked up behavior; behavior that causes unnecessary pain and drama, for everyone involved. So, again, my dear men; Don’t start no shit, won’t be no shit. G’day.

…you may now return to your regularly scheduled programming…

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