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Finals Approach Like Jaws

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Posted by admin on Tuesday, November 16, 2010

It's that time of year again. Finals looms ahead and with it brings dire desperation. We all ask ourselves, "What the hell have I been doing all semester? What do you mean this test is cumulative?" There's no time to avoid this moment, it is upon you. However, there are some things you can do to evade complete failure.

1. Note Compilation

Note compilations are great because there is always an excessive amount of information that repeats itself in a way that allows for easy memorization. If you decide to spark up a note compilation, please make the mass email to the class entertaining. It's also a good idea to have something to initially offer. People don't like to feel completely used... however there is always a saint in the class who is willing to send out detailed lecture and book notes. God bless their souls.

2. Smile Pretty and Bat Your Eyes

There are a lot of lonely boys and girls sitting around you in class. Chances are, if you do a bit of flirting, you can find ample notes and a study buddy. A hot study buddy is preferred, and be sure to take study breaks with the latest copy of Study Breaks.

3. Office Hours and Bribes

Go into your professor or TA's office hours. Let them know that you have had a really rough semester but really care about this class. You have no excuses for your previous lack of effort, but you are now wiling to do whatever it takes to pass this final. Bribes are optional, but candy and alcohol could never hurt! Disclaimer: Study Breaks is not responsible for expulsion if you do attempt a bribe. Normally if you go in and are genuine and apologetic about sucking up to this point, they will take pity and help you out.

4. Study Group With the Kids on the Front Row

Do NOT study with your friends. This is gossip and games waiting to happen. In my case it's probably going to end up involving alcohol... do yourself a favor and study with the kids from the front row. These kids are organized and good time managers. Their study sessions will be focused, efficient and full of the relevant information.

5. Pray

If all other options fail, it's never a bad idea to spend some time with the man upstairs. This may require a lot of repenting for the semester's sinful indulgences, but it couldn't hurt to try! At least you can walk into exams with a good soul. Failing as a good person is much easier than getting what you deserve.

For more tips on finals crunch time, check out http://www.thecampussocialite.com/its-crunch-time-once-again/

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