Everybody Dance Now! Especially You, Ryan Gosling

Posted by admin on Thursday, June 21, 2012

I am now a firm believer that Ryan Gosling should have gone the same career path as fellow Mickey Mouse Club Mouseketeers, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake and pursued a career in music.  He could have even pulled a K-Fed and danced backup! On June 18, 2012, a video of a young, pre-MMC Ryan and sister, Mandi performing at a 1991 Morman talent show was uploaded to YouTube.  The first 30 seconds of the clip feature Gosling sensually crooning into the microphone, telling the audience what exactly happens “When A Man Loves A Woman.â€

Check out that grin. Cocky bastard.

This alone would be enough material for years of painful and haunting childhood memories, but the Goslings siblings aren’t just one trick ponies.  No, they’re multitalented young Mormans, and they just want to dance, damn it.

Cut to :36 seconds into the video, when the opening line of the hit 90’s song, “Gonna Make You Sweat†by C+C Music Factory sets the tone for the rest of the video.  Holy sh--.  I don’t know if I’m embarrassed or uncontrollably envious.  The flood of emotions is too strong.  I’m stuck somewhere between laughing and crying, but more importantly - I can’t stop watching these kids bust a move.


I also find myself wishing the girl would just stop dancing and go away so I can stare at baby Ryan’s sweet, sweet hip swivels (and yes - it’s really confusing seeing a tiny Ryan Gosling put it all out there), but just like magic, Ryan delivers.  1:17 into the video, Ryan (gently) body checks his sis and steals the stage to do a solo number while she sulks in the background.  With a few expert M.C. Hammer kicks, he shows Mandi just how the rhythm moves him.

Really, it’s within this solo number that Ryan does some of his best work, like the Face Frame, the Self-Caress, and the Crotch Presentation (see below).

Next, Mandi dances for a little, but who really cares?  When Ryan rejoins her onstage, they do some quick, creepy partner work that’s only made more awkward in the way Ryan approaches his sister like he wants to make her a woman.

The icing on the cake is when Ryan polishes off the routine by coming down into the audience for a more intimate atmosphere.  He proceeds to wipe the “sexy†dancing sweat off his brow.

It must be hard work having moves that sick.  I salute Mandi and Ryan for creating a home dance video that rivals the entertainment quality of Channing Tatum’s leaked stripping past.  And with the recent buzz of Tatum’s upcoming exotic dancing movie, Magic Mike, there’s something to be said about the semi-wholesome 90’s dance moves the Gosling siblings are bringing attention back to.  I for one would be thrilled to see Hammer pants make a permanent comeback.

Maybe once producers take a look at this video, Ryan will be commissioned for Magic Mike 2 as a M.C. Hammer impersonator.  A girl can dream.



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