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Disco is dead, among other things

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Posted by admin on Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Dance moves, like many other trends in life, die quickly. Disco was all the rage in the 1970's, but as the decades go on, so do the styles of dance. In today's day and age, there are some forms of dancing that are simply no longer acceptable. We'll be reviewing what's NOT okay to bust out on the dance floor.

KRUMPING

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1Uw8H807YQ[/youtube]

Can you even consider this dancing? Looks like homeboy stepped on a Lego piece and went into a fit of seizures. If flailing around like a noodle can be taken as a form of dance, then all the sloppy drunks I see at the club "groovin" in this manner have nothing to worry about. But if you prefer not to make a fool of yourself, avoid krumping at all costs.

MOVE LIKE BERNIE

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRBLmogRL4c[/youtube]

Based on the 1980's movie, Weekend at Bernie's, this dance is only acceptable in moderation. Sure it's funny, but don't expect to pull some numbers downtown if you're movin' like Bernie. But if you're heading to an audition for a zombie extra in Walking Dead, then this move is key to landing the roll.

SHUFFLING

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNYzrmdzktk[/youtube]

I'll be the first to admit I was really into this song over the summer while abroad in Paris. But if hamsters are doing it in a Kia commercial, then I doubt any human should be attempting to shuffle.

STANKY LEG

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4o-4_CVUlY[/youtube]

This move I never understood. What's appealing about dancing like you walk with a limp? Unless you're a pimp, stepping inside Papadeaux's eatin' on shrimp like Mike Jones, then never try to stanky leg. Even the name is unappealing. IT'S STANKY!!

FIST PUMPING

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UfYtmzCJGY[/youtube]

Never promote Jersey Shore through dance expression. It's an oxymoron. If you want to be taken seriously in life, never EVER fist pump, or you will forever be labeled a guido gorilla juice head. Pounding the ground then bringing it back up into a wild throwing of the fists is anything but dancing, it's crazy. And stupid. Please don't beat up the beat; it's typically the best part of whatever song you're dancing to.

CRANK THAT 

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMHygHL-obQ[/youtube]

Hold up, Soulja Boy. Line dances are never ago. The Electric Slide, the Cha-Cha Slide, and the Bunny Hop all fall under this category. Repeating the same move throughout an entire song can not only be tiresome, but just plain boring.

 

Honorable Mentions

In short, make good decisions when you're on the dance floor!
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