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Posted by admin on Friday, June 1, 2012

hole-y shitttt

Yes, it's today. The most glorious day of the year...NATIONAL DONUT DAY!

And yeah, it's bikini season and instead of posting articles glorifying calorie-laden, sprinkle-bedecked inner tubes of doughy deliciousness, I supppppose I should be giving you five ways to GET THAT BIKINI BODY! (Actually we already did.)

But you know what's more fun than exercise and dieting? DONUTS. So here are 5 reasons to drop what you're doing and drag your soon-to-be-far-chunkier ass to the local Krispy Kreme. Not that you really need the incentive anyways, but at least now you can blame me for your upcoming obesity.

1. HOMER SIMPSON

mmm..ghgghgh

What's not to love about AMERICAN ICON Homer Simpson?! From the potbelly to the perpetual 5 o'clock shadow to the classy-to-the-max short-sleeved dress shirt, the perpetually Jaundiced cartoon character is a role model worth emulating. You gotta admit--he makes that donut look good.

Though in this case, I suppose it's a doh-nut...

 

 

 

2. PATRIOTISM

I challenge you to find a more patriotic pastry than the red, white and blue donut. And yes, national pride is an EXCELLENT excuse for clogging your arteries. Because holidays--especially of the deep fried variety--exemplify 'MERICA, damnit!

 

 

3. FRIDAY 

Am I a little disturbed this image was on a website called 3fatchicks.com? Maybe, but what's more appropriate for national donut day?

 

Or, today, more accurately named Frieday. Turns out this momentous occasion is celebrated on the first TGIF moment of each June. I mean, you know you're going to blow your diet on Pina Coladas or whatever this weekend anyways. Might as well start now.

 

 

 

 

4. BARGAINS

In honor of NATIONAL DONUT DAY--which is rapidly becoming my favorite holiday with every mouthwatering Google image encounter--many donut chains are offering SWEET deals. Krispy Kreme and ShipleyDonuts are offering a FREE donut to any customer that stops by one of their participating locations, while customers get a FREE donut with any beverage purchased at Dunkin' Donuts. OMG just imagine what you can do with that 69 cents you just saved!

5. PURE, UNADULTERATED JOY

I'll have what he's having

 

Never have I ever seen a more delighted (and sticky...but mostly just delighted) kid. If happiness had a face, it would look like this...covered in chocolate. And you know what's responsible for that grin (and that mess)? Donuts.

So indulge...and bonus points if you do it in Cars pajamas.

 

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